I'm Only Human
by Yuelyn the Vampire
Summary: Keitaro's relationship with Naru comes to a climax, for better or worse. What will he do when the woman he loves is actually deceiving him? Hate turns to love and love turns to hate. I'm Only Human: Tsuruko Arc is submitted as a separate fanfiction.
1. Feel This

Chapter 1: Feel This

What am I to do? This has got to be the third time I've asked her already! Well here comes number four. "Naru, will you come with me this Saturday?" A long silence… and still no reply. She just keeps staring up at the ceiling-

"Could you get on with it, Keitaro?" she says coldly. "I don't have all day here."

"What are you talking about? I just asked you?!" I harshly reply. She glares at me like I said something wicked.

"Don't get snippy with me, Keitaro Urashima!" she barks back. She jumps to her feet, pointing her finger at me accusingly. I stand up to get eye level with her. One thing I know about Naru, is that you have to stand your ground to create stability. Showing inferiority makes her conceited.

"Naru," I say patiently. "I've already asked you three times if you wanted to go out with me. What else do you want me to do? Get on all fours and beg you like a dog?" I see her wind up for her infamous punch and brace myself. I feel pain everywhere as I'm knocked back against the wall.

"Get out!" she screamed.

"Goddammit, Naru!" I yell back. "What the hell do you want from me!? You keep complaining about me not spending enough time with you and you just keeping punishing me when I try to!"

"Well take a hint; I don't want to. Now get out." she pointed to the door. I manage to limp out of there. She slammed the door and I cringe. I walk down to my room and just prop myself against the wall. Holding my face in my hands, I try not to cry. But fail. Why does it end up like this? Is what I think before sinking into my unconscious.

I see my reflection in a pool of water that is surrounded by five violet candlelight's. Giving it an ethereal glow that allows me to see. I stare, looking myself.

"Why do you still go after her?" my mirror image asks. Well that's certainly an easy question.

"Because I love her."

"That isn't love, its desire."

"Desire?"

"A desire to be loved, even though she doesn't want you. You chase her in an effort to soothe your loneliness, but it's useless. You'll never catch her."

"We both want to be loved."

"For you it may be love, but for her it's hate."

"Hate?"

"Hate that stems from being unloved. Your love means nothing to her; merely an object to be won."

"An object?"

"Must you keep asking such stupid questions? I don't know why you can't see it. It's hard to believe that I am actually you." I didn't reply. "Well, I'll explain it to you clearly - Naru doesn't love you. Yet you keep indulging her. Like a child that get's spoiled without repercussions. All that ever did was make her a bitch and a selfish one at that." My image stood out the water and looked straight at me. "Stop acting like a coward; it's time to face the facts. Take it like a man." He stopped there and I wake up.

"Sempai?" I open my eyes to see Shinobu-chan with a worried expression on her face.

"Oh, hello Shinobu-chan." I grunt as I stand up.

"Why were you sleeping right outside your room, Sempai?" she asked hesitantly.

"Fainting is probably what happened." I touch my face, wincing as it stung.

"I'll go get some ice for you." she practically screamed.

"Thanks, but I'll go get it myself." I pat her head. "Don't worry, at least she didn't send me out the stratosphere." I try and laugh it off for Shinobu's sake. She gives me a slight grin. I walk downstairs. I notice Kitsune and Motoko; they stare daggers right at me. I sighed.

"Must've been something Naru said, right?" I say dryly.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Kitsune shrieked.

"Apparently he wasn't thinking at all." Motoko added. I snorted at that remark.

"I know that I can be slow at times, but this isn't one of them. So, what did she tell you?"

"She came down ranting about you called her a 'bitch' and you telling her to crawl on all fours." Kitsune said bluntly.

"Say what!" I screamed back. "That has got to be -"

"Are you saying that wasn't the case?" Motoko interrupted. She gave me her usual cold looks. I saw the glint of her word being removed.

"You know what? You can believe whatever the hell you want." I stood straight up at Motoko. "If you feel justified in attacking me for the sake of you honor, go ahead. Since obviously the truth has no meaning to you because I'm a male." Motoko just turned her head quickly, avoiding my gaze for some reason. I back off a little bit to give her some space and turn to Kitsune. "All I did was ask her to go out with me. If you think that deserves a tongue lashing, please continue." With my arms and hands open I dare her.

Since she didn't, I go to grab a compress and fill it with ice. "Then what really happened?" she asked.

"It doesn't matter. I guess it's normal to take a friends word over someone else's. But if you could stand to use your head for what it's good for, you'd know that I wouldn't say something like that to the women I love." Both Motoko and Kitsune look somewhat contrite. "But obviously Naru doesn't share that same sentiment."

"You could still be lying." Motoko rejoined. "Why should we believe anything you have to say?"

"Since your bond with Naru is stronger than mine, you don't. After all, our relationship is only between manger and tenant." I say bitterly

"Is that all we mean to you, Keitaro, as tenants?" Kitsune asked. I looked at her woe-be-gone expression, but I pressed on.

"Well, what do I mean to you?" I say haughtily. Kitsune didn't answer. I looked at Motoko and she turned away to cough. "See what kind of relationship we have?" I say sadly.

Suddenly, Su's flying kick sprawls me out on the floor.

"Keitaro, let's play!" she said enthusiastically.

"Yeah, come on dork." Sara emphasized. They both bring out some contraptions and I end up running for my life.

A few hours later I retreat to my room. To my surprise I see Naru. "Thanks to you, I had a fight with Kitsune." she sneered. Well! That wasn't what I was anticipating. I thought she came here to apologize. What an idiot I am.

"About what?" I barely showed interest.

"You'll be happy to know that she called me a liar. Saying that I shouldn't say crap like that about you." I was utterly speechless. Kitsune defended me? Never though she'd take my side over Naru's. I guess I should go thank her. "So?"

"So what?"

"Are you going to take me out this Saturday or what?"

"Really, you want to go?" My heart was pumping how.

"As long as I'm back by nine." I ignored that last comment.

"Alright!" I say with fist pumping. "We'll leave from here at ten. That should give us plenty of time." I'll make her so happy that she'll forget about him.

After Naru left, I decide to go Kitsune. I softly tap on the door.

"Come in." she replied. I open the door and quickly turn around. "Why if it isn't Keitaro."

"Shouldn't you be wearing something other than your undergarments?!" I blurt out.

"What's a little bare skin between friends?" She whispers into my ear. Oh dear God! Her voluptuous body feels hot against my back.

"It's different between boys and girls!" I manage to shout. She wraps her arms around my chest and I feel her breasts pressing even harder.

"It doesn't matter since were best friends. We are best friends, aren't we, Keitaro?" She said my name in such a husky tone…

"Yes we are, now can you please stop?" Where the hell did that come from? I can barely breathe with her so close! She finally let go, but for some reason I feel cold now.

"So, what did you need?" I turn around and see her legs folded on her futon. She pats the space in front of her. I sit down in the same position.

"I wanted to thank you for defending me."

"It was nothing." she waves off. "Actually, I was tired of Naru's stuck up attitude too." Oh, so it wasn't for my sake. Why does that make me feel crappy? "But more than that, I was tired of the way she was treating you."

"Kitsune," My opinion of you instantly changed. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier, about you just being a tenant.

"No, I was wrong too." she grabbed my hands together, looking at them so intensely. "I'm sorry that I always take advantage of your kindness." She looks up at me.

"Kitsune…"

"I depend on your more than you think, Keitaro. If you were to leave me, I'm not sure what I would be doing." Out of all the girls, I worry about Kitsune the most. Sometimes she seems too carefree and flirty, that could bring her the wrong kind of attention. But I know that she can also take care of herself, since she has people to go to, like Haruka.

"You'd go on strong as an independent woman, always." I say confidently.

"I'm not as strong as you think." She looks away.

"But your stronger than most. Believe it or not, everyone has doubts about themselves. Hell, look at me. I'm so insecure, but when you push with all your might, you'll have no regrets."

"But that doesn't mean you'll succeed." I sigh and hug her close to me.

"You know for an optimist, you pretty pessimistic." She squirms a little in my embrace.

"Who says I'm an optimist?"

"You do," she snorts. "Especially when it comes to races, but also when it comes to hopeless people, like me."

"Well that's cause you're lucky," she mumbles into my shoulder. "prince charming." I pull her away at arms length. God, that's such a mistake. Kitsune looks to desirable by half. I quickly turn away, again.

"Hardly." I manage to say.

"The lucky part or being prince charming?" Was she teasing me?

"Both." I say to fast. She laughs; I didn't fool her at all. I hear her mutter something.

"What was that Kitsune?" she shakes her head.

"It's nothing." She lightly pats my shoulder. "Make sure you have a nice time tomorrow."

"I'll try my best." I feel good that I got closer with Kitsune. Tomorrow I'm going to have to settle things with Naru. But tonight I can feel at ease.

* * *

Well I know that some people may not agree with this, but I'll be keeping this story in first person point of view; meaning that you'll only get to see things from Keitaro's point of view. Any errors, questions, comments or suggestion's can be put into a review. Thank you very much!


	2. The Truth is Spoken

Chapter Two: The Truth is Spoken

"So, where are we going?" Naru asks as she holds onto one of the poles.

"Different places?" I answer back. I also do the same and grab hold of the steel bar. The train was unusually empty today. I actually had some arm room.

_"What places?"_ she said with venom.

"Just be patient and you'll see." I say calmly. She just pouts and looks away, choking the life out the steel pole. Well! This certainly wasn't the way it was supposed to go! I couldn't sleep at all last night because I was so excited, but talking with Kitsune could've been the reason too. I almost had a nosebleed just thinking about it. Her soft body kept haunting my thoughts. Yet more so was her; her very being was so, invigorating.

Either way, it caused Naru to drop in on top of me to wake me up. I really should close that damn hole in the ceiling. I rushed to get ready while Naru kept barking all the reasons why I was an idiot. Everybody wished me luck, but Kitsune personally pulled me away and said, "Just be you." I'm not sure what she meant by that. She just patted my back to send us on our way.

I pull my planner out my pocket. Since we're an hour behind schedule, I made a mental note of crossing out breakfast. But we should make it through everything else. The train arrives at our stop and I pull Naru through the crowd.

"Hey, don't suddenly pull me!" Naru shrieked. I ignore her protests.

"I don't want us to split up, so I have to hold your hand." That shut her up rather quick. We continue to walk hand and hand down the sidewalk until we come to our destination.

"The arcade?" she said disgustingly. "You brought me to the arcade?"

"What's wrong, too old to play, grandma?" I retort.

"Excuse me! Your two years older than I am!"

"But I'm not the one who's complaining." I say with a smirk.

"Alright buster, I'll show you who's the crusty old hag." she storms inside. I never said anything about a crusty old hag, but for a moment I was scared. I seriously though she was going to launch me into space, again. I didn't have much of a choice though; with Naru you have to put your foot down or she'll walk all over you. I learned that from somebody else…

"Keitaro, you better get in here!" Naru roared. I roll up my sleeves and go inside.

We play for hours, all the while I watched Naru's beautiful smile. Her passion, her laugh; everything about her that makes me love her. But, why do I feel so uneasy in telling her how I feel? My whole body trembles just thinking about it. All of my doubts just run rampant.

Afterwards, we went and got some lunch. We talked different things: school, our friends, and even a trip down memory lane. I was happy to see that Naru was enjoying herself, but this uneasy feeling just wouldn't go away.

I decided to take Naru to a movie so that I could relax my nerves. When the movie started, I just couldn't pay attention to the showing. I just drifted into a state of REM.

_"Just be yourself."_ I barely wake up in time to catch the ending credits. I see Naru sigh.

"Was it that bad?" I inquire.

"Are you serious? The ending just ruined the whole movie." she said sharply.

"Yeah, I guess it was kind of lame."

"That's the understatement of the year." We walked out the theater and it was nightfall. Naru looks at her watch. "Let's go home." But I still had something to say.

"Wait." I grab her hand. "I have one more place I want to take you." She takes her hand back.

"Forget it, I already told you that I _need_ to be at home by nine."

"Come one," I ask pleadingly. "It'll be worthwhile!" I grab her and pull her along. I remembered what Kitsune told and that gave me courage. If I don't tell her how I feel unequivocally, she'll never take me seriously.

"Wait, Keitaro!" I ran with all my might to the park, ignoring all of Naru's protests. We reached the center of the park, where a fountain reflected the moon and stars. Both out of breath, we suck in air heavily.

"This better be good, Keitaro." Naru said in between breaths.

"Don't you it's beautiful here, Naru?"

"What I think is considering a beating or just launching you into space right about now." Well! That certainly killed the mood, but whatever. I embrace her.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I look into her eyes.

"I love you, Naru." I say eagerly. "I love every part of you. I've even grown accustomed to your anger - sometimes. I love how you look. I love the way you feel everything. I love every single second that I've spent with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you?" She looked shocked, but I was expecting that. She smiled! She actually smiled. She pushed me away at arms length, never stopping to smile.

I fall to the ground. I didn't even see it coming. I howl in pain at the recoil off the ground. A huge pain erupted from my head. I was so disoriented. Is this how it ends?

"Go to hell!" she shrieked. No, she wasn't finished. I looked up at her. She was absolutely livid. "You're lucky that I don't have much time or else I'd cripple you, bastard!" She kicked my leg and I cry in agony. "How dare you say, 'I love you!' Spend the rest of my life with you?! Why would I want to marry a loser like you?! You're nothing but my servant! I own you! Yet you have the gall to ask me such a question?! Thanks to you I'm gonna be late with meeting my boyfriend, you idiot!" She pulled me up by the collar of my shirt. I was terrified, afraid. I couldn't believe that this was Naru. She's a monster.

"Listen to me real closely, Keitaro." she said it with such disgust that I closed my eyes. Trying to avoid her frightening countenance, I cry. I couldn't help but moan like a child. "Tsk. You think tears are gonna save you? Remember this: you're my mine. No one else is going to have you. So whatever feeling you have for me, keep it to yourself. Because I don't ever want to hear such repulsive words from you again." She throws me to the ground and I gasp in pain.

I couldn't look. I just cry silently, unable to do anything. Everything she said, everything she did, barely registered. I just cry for myself; for my pain, for my sorrow, for my broken heart, and for the truth that Naru Narusegawa doesn't love me.


	3. Made of Scars

Chapter Three: Made of Scars

"Where the hell am I?!"

I shiver off the cold concrete and panic. I run around, for all of ten seconds. A sharp pain in my leg was too much. Then all the memories from last night came to me. Like a tempest, everything at once was overwhelming. I sit down at a nearby bench, recollecting all that happened. _What did I do wrong,_ kept echoing in my head. I gave her everything that I had: my attention, my affection, my soul, but it wasn't enough for her. She admitted that she was cheating on me and didn't look the least bit sad when she said it! God, how could she lead me on like that?! I'm such a goddamn idiot! Everything makes sense, now. Why didn't I see it?! The ridiculous phone bill, every night she came late, and every "no" she spat at me. Well, she's caused enough of my suffering!

I'm just a paper with bad memories written. I have a scar from when Naru caught me looking at her intimately. One that Motoko opened twice when I accidentally bumped into her coming out the hot spring. I have two from Su and her contraptions that faded long ago. One on my back that needed stitches from Sara, and this new one had me scared to death, but I guess I should be glad I'm not dead. All of it has to end - one way or another.

A few hours later I arrive at the Hinata Apartments, with a mission, to express my vocation as manager. I walk in through the door and call everyone downstairs. To my dismay, Naru wasn't here.

"Where's Naru?" I ask as calmly as possible. I was so close to going ballistic that it wasn't even funny. Everyone just gave me looks of confusion.

"We were hoping that you would tell us." Kitsune answered hesitantly.

"Well, I certainly have no idea since she ditched me in a park last night." I didn't add the fact that she left me broken and battered to meet her lover. That's an issue that I would have to deal with Naru personally.

"What?!" they all shouted in unison.

"You guys can clearly see that she isn't with me." The only explanation that I can think about is that she spent the night over with her lover. Which pissed me off even more; an image of Naru being touched by another man was so repulsive that I had to choke back a cough.

"Don't be arrogant with us, Urashima-san," Motoko said indignantly. "considering you in your condition, I'm sure that Naru-sempai thrashed you for being perverted." I walk towards Motoko and single her out.

"I'm not in the mood for your holier-than-thou attitude right now, Motoko-san. I'm not going to take any of your accusations, assaults, or insults just because you feel vindicated." She promptly looked away outside.

" Keitaro, why are you acting this way?" Kitsune asked.

"I have no idea what you mean, Kitsune." I say sarcastically. "But last night made me realize that I've been too lenient with my authority as manager. I'm just feeling inclined to use it. There are going to be a lot of changes around here, starting with Naru. I'm going to terminate her stature as resident in the Hinata Apartments." Shinobu, Su, and Sara just stared at me incredulously. Kitsune widened her eyes in astonishment. Motoko was the first to break the silence by drawing her sword.

"You have no right to do that!" Motoko shrieked.

"On the contrary, as manager, I have every right to." I say triumphantly.

"Now hold on Keitaro," Kitsune said loudly. "just cause you had a bad night with Naru doesn't mean that you can kick her out of her home."

"Why not?" I challenged.

"Because it isn't right!" I laugh bitterly.

"So, all those times that I got my money swindled by you was right? Or maybe all those times I got injured by Motoko was okay? Better yet, how about all the times that Naru beat me on a whim? I didn't realize that you were a saint, Kitsune." I promptly felt her hand crack across my face.

"You're a bastard, Keitaro Urashima!" This time I saw it coming and grabbed both wrists.

"I don't want to hurt you, Kitsune, but I will if you hit me again." She swiftly broke out of my grasp.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Then have at me." I urged. "If you won't, then I'll get on with my business by packing up all of Naru's belongings." The girls quickly blocked the entrance to the stairs.

"Don't make this any harder than it needs to be."

"We won't let you throw Naru-sempai out!" Shinobu implored.

"That's too mean, Keitaro!" Su complained.

"A joke can only go so far!" Sara added.

"Girls, I'll move you myself if you don't get out the way, but one way or another I will get up those stairs." I started toward them, only to have Motoko pointing her sword at me. "You can threaten me all you want, but my decision is final."

"Then I'll just have to convince you." Motoko released a vortex of air pressure that sent me flying out the front door. I rolled backwards and stood up to take defensive stance. Motoko followed up with a current from above that knocked me to the ground. I involuntarily spat out blood. For some reason Motoko flinched at my reaction. I got back up and walked towards her. "You must know that you have no chance of winning." I didn't reply. The time has come and gone for words. Within three feet of her, she created another airstream that knocked me back, again. Her whole body was shivering now. I still got up. "Stop with this nonsense!" she shouted. I walk. "I'll seriously hurt you this time if you won't desist!" I continue to walk. She stabbed her sword in the ground and grabbed my throat. She just looked at me confused. I knocked away her hold on me. "Why are you doing this?" she shrieked. I just walk past her.

My body ached all over, but it didn't compare with the pain in my heart. The girls ran towards Kitsune at the entrance. I walk past them as well, ignoring their troubled looks.

"Don't do this, Keitaro." Kitsune pleaded. I didn't stop.

I walk up the stairs and into my room. I promptly lock the door. I grab the deed to the apartments out of my desk and some paper. I start writing. Minutes later I stuff all of it into an envelope. I hear the echo of Naru's name being shouted. I open my floorboards and pull out a small bag and set it over my shoulder. I quickly walk downstairs find all the girls standing next to each other; like a barrier.

"What's this I hear about you kicking me out, Keitaro?" she said coldly.

"You heard right, as the manager of the Hinata Apartments, I'm throwing you out. Plain and simple." I say it with such satisfaction that I feel giddy inside. Serves her right for all the shit she ever did to me! But I wasn't done yet. "I expect you to be out by the end of the day or I'll call the cops." How does it feel to be helpless, Naru? Not even your friends can help you out now! I should have done this a long time ago, but this is retribution. "So I suggest that you start packing now." I won't ever have to see you slutty face again! Yes, you're a goddamn whore for leading me on like a stray dog, but you don't own me! I belong to know one but myself. So learn your place! "I'll send over the rest of you stuff when you find a new place."

"I see." she said it too calmly for my taste. But there was nothing that she could do. It was pleasing to put the bitch in her place! Kitsune then broke away from the group and shoved a piece of paper in my face.

"What's this?"

"To make a long story short, we're kicking you out as our manager."

"Excuse me?" I look down at the paper and read it. I couldn't believe it. It says that if all tenants sign this document, then they have the right to terminate the current manager. "But that's me." I looked at Naru, she was smiling! "You knew all along that this would happen, didn't you."

"I have no idea what your talking about." she said innocently.

"Are all of you in agreement with this?" I shout. I stared hard at each and everyone of them. Shinobu and Sara avoided my gaze, but Su just looked at me with tears in her eyes.

"You shouldn't be so mean to people, Keitaro." she said sadly.

"Serves you right." Sara said hesitantly.

"Indeed it does." Motoko said in agreement. Goddamn shit! I'm being kicked out of my own home!

"Granny Hina is never going to accept this!" I barked. "She put me in charge here!"

"But that's why she gave me this paper; to make sure that you didn't abuse your power." Naru said victoriously.

"I'm not leaving my home!"

"We're not giving you a choice." Kitsune said. Motoko stalked towards and threw me out with her bare hands. I instantly got up and charged into the house only to be punched out by Naru.

"It's too late now," Naru said gladly. "you dug your own grave, now you lie in it." All the girls filed out and had some weapon in hand, except Naru. Motoko held her sword, Kitsune a large bottle of liquor, Shinobu with a frying pan, Su with her suit of armor, and Sara with a strange artifact.

I stood up and sighed. _Defeated._ This was more than I expected, but it was a good thing. I never expected all of them to be this close to each other. I don't have any regrets now. I smile at them. "I guess that this is good-bye."

"It's too late for apologies!" Naru screeched.

"I'm not apologizing. I'm just saying that this will be the last time that we'll see each other and it's a good thing."

"Eh?"

"I'm actually thrilled that I don't have to live in this place anymore because it would just cause everyone unhappiness. I tried to make all of you happy, but all my efforts were in vain. I've lost everything that I ever cherished in this place. In the end in doesn't matter anymore."

"Keitaro, what are you saying," Kitsune came forward and asked. "that you wanted us to kick you out?"

"Like I said before, believe what you want to believe." I pulled my small bag over my shoulders. "I'm leaving the Apartments in Haruka's care, so you won't be without a manger." I turn my back and utter "Sayonara." I walk down the stairs and wave behind me. A few tears escaped from my eyes. I wasn't sad because I'm leaving, but because that I won't ever be able to see the girls that meant so much to me, yet I still have to carry all the scars and memories that caused my unhappiness.

* * *

Sorry for the long update my precious readers, but this chapter was very hard to write. I'm still not satified the way it turned out, yet I like the direction that it is headed. Keitaro is no longer chained down to the Hinata Aparments, but that doesn't mean that the Hinata girls are gone from his life. This was the moment where Keitaro needed to break away from Naru and find his own happiness.

I'd rather not say anymore than that, but any comments, questions, or concerns can be taken in the form of reviews. So please write them after you finish reading this chapter. I'd rather not put a timeline on the next installment because I have two weeks before finals and I need to start cramming, but I may get the next chapter will come in less than a month, so please be patient.


	4. Lift Me Up

Chapter Four: Lift Me Up

"Goddammit all! Why didn't you tell me any of this before now, Keitaro?!" I cringed. It's not like that I didn't expect this kind of a reaction from Haruka, but knowing that didn't make me feel any less worse. The deed to the apartments and my letter to the girls were laid out on the table; much to Haruka's dismay. I told her what happened and she lost her flippin' mind! She went out and screamed for the girls to come down and threatened to kick out the lot of 'em. I practically had to gag her with my hand to make her stop. Being hammer-fisted on the head and howling in pain seemed to have calmed her down a bit.

"Because I knew that you would act this way." She gave me that infamous arched brow of hers. Ignoring it, I continued. "I made my decision and had to follow through on it. So, please, can you let this go?"

"That's so unfair, Keitaro. How can I say no to that?" she said in her normal, indifferent tone of voice.

"Is that a 'yes'?" I ask hopefully. She slams her hands on the table and stands up simultaneously, causing me to flinch in fear.

"Don't you dare try to trivialize the situation here! I don't believe that such a document exists," she's definitely talking about what the girls shoved in my face. "or that all of them would sign it; especially the kids! They probably have no idea what just happened!"

"Does it matter? None of them were against me being thrown out of the apartments. Isn't that fact enough to convince you?" I say bitterly.

"Why are you letting them throw you out of your home?!"

"That place isn't my home!" I scream back. "I've been punched and kicked around since the day I came here! I tried my best to satisfy there every need! You don't know the shit I've been through so don't pretend that you know!" I take my shirt off violently and hurl it to the floor as Haruka gasped. "Look at me! Look at all of these scars! Is this the look of someone who's lived in a happy home?!" Haruka ran outside, throwing up on the nearby bushes. I immediately felt pathetic. _She didn't deserve that._

I put my shirt back on and walk over to her, rubbing her back as she's convalescing. "I'm such an idiot!" she bawled. "I never should've left you alone with those witches! God, I'm so sorry, Keitaro."

"No, I shouldn't have shown you that so suddenly." I say sympathetically. Even I become disgusted when I look at myself in the mirror. It looks like I've been butchered slowly with instruments of torture. A plethora of discolored skin, stitches, and scars ravage my entire body.

"Keitaro, why? Why didn't you tell me?" she wailed. I took a deep breath before answering, because I didn't want to cry anymore. Retelling all the mistakes I ever did, made me emotional.

"I thought that in my own stupid way that I was protecting them from the world's harsh reality and from being seen as evil people. When I know in my heart that they aren't, but whenever I came back from one of Naru or Motoko's attacks, none of them were worried about my safety, save for sweet, innocent Shinobu. She reminds me of Konako in a way. Maybe that's why I always treat her like a little sister."

"Keitaro." she called.

"Kitsune would sometimes try and get me to drink away my worries, yet I always knew that she had an ulterior motive; money. I worry about her the most though, because as a man I know that others would take advantage of her. So, yeah, sometimes I spoil her by giving her money that I don't have; to keep her out of trouble."

"Keitaro!" she shouted.

"Su's just a playful little kid who doesn't understand the meaning of 'limits'. I couldn't tell you how many times she blew me high into the air, but I knew that it was all in good fun. I did try to get her to stop making things that are destructive, but asking her to stop is like telling her to stop eating bananas; it just isn't done. Little Sara's just getting used to the hang of things, but she does have some resentment towards me. I'm not sure why, yet she hits me to vent out some of her frustrations, so it's not like it was anything personal. She's a good kid."

"Keitaro, listen to me." she said with warning.

"Motoko's just your normal rebellious teenager with a huge chip on her shoulder. Her emotions tend to go to extremes though, but that's not all her fault. In time she'll be able to cope with them. She's a bright girl who's struggling to find her vocation between a woman and a warrior. I'm sure her fury will quell when that happens. She'll eventually turn out to be a gorgeous beauty. Almost makes me sad that I won't be able to see when that happens."

"Please, stop, Keitaro!" she embraced me intensely. Holding me so tightly that her body was trembling against mine. "You don't have to say anymore!" But I couldn't stop. I had to tell her about the one woman who meant so much to me, even if it hurt.

"And Naru, Naru's an angel. So beautiful, so strong, so untouchable. I feel like I committed a crime each time I was close to her, but I learned quickly that heaven hath no fury like a woman scorned. Her wrath has no limit and her patience is also very thin. But I was dazzled by her and I couldn't look away from her. I kept chasing after her like a flower starving for the sun's light. I felt like she could fill the void in my life. So I followed her, bowed to her every whim, gritted my teeth with each blow to my body. Yet, still, still it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough for her. So, she went and found another man. Right under my nose, I had no idea till she told me… I lost her before I had her." I stop to realize that I was crying… and the wet feeling that was growing on my right shoulder.

"You don't have to hurt yourself anymore, Keitaro." she said through her sobs. "I'm here with you. So, just stop defending them. They don't deserve it."

"Aunt Haruka." I whisper softly in her ear. "Thank you." She pulled away from me, but her hands rested firmly on my shoulders.

"I promise that I'll take care of things here, but where are you going to go?"

"I'm not sure, but I just gotta get out of here as fast as I can. Right now it doesn't matter where I'll end up, but maybe I'll go stay with Mutsumi for a while." I at least have to tell her that I'm not living at the Hinata Apartment's anymore.

"I'm gonna be lonely without you here, kiddo." I laughed at the thought, but she looked at me seriously. I felt a tug in my heart. I close the gap between us and sensually grab her around the waist, pulling her against me.

"Do you want me to stay with you, just like that one time?" Haruka blushed a crimson red and immediately pushed me away.

"I told you to never bring that up again." she said stuttering. "And don't you think I forgot that you didn't stop even when I told you to!"

"It's not like it's all my fault, if I remember correctly, you even said that you-" I howled in pain and covered my nose. "You punched me!"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" She kept beating me on the head until I ran from her. When I reached a moderate distance from her I looked back. "You better come back to see me, Kei!"

"I will!" I holler back. I hold my bag firmly in my hands and walk towards the train station. Never looking back, because of the tears that were pouring down my face. "Dammit, and I swore that I'd never cry again."I rubbed my face on my shirt, but I decided it was okay, because the person that was behind me also had tears in her eyes. I was happy to leave with a smile on my face and my head held high.

* * *

Sorry for the three week wait my precious readers! Right after finals I came down with a terrible cold that I'm still not over. As for this chapter, it's probably not one of the best things I've written, but bear with me because it's one of those transition chapters that you have to write with not much drama or suspense. I did however leave an opening for Mutsumi and Haruka. As always, please leave any comments, questions, or concerns in the form of a review.

I'm gonna be taking summer classes to try and graduate earlier just to let all of people know. So the timeline for my next chapter may be similiar to this one, but I hope to get in another chapter in a week or so.


	5. Darkest Hour, On The Brightest Day

Chapter Five: Darkest Hour, On The Brightest Day

When I reached the train for Kyoto, I didn't feel like doing anything. I told Aunt Haruka that I was going to live with Mutsumi, but that was a lie. Actually, I already talked to Mutsumi a lot about me leaving the Hinata Apartments. I would always visit her after Motoko or Naru launched me into the atmosphere. I told her everything that happened right up till I got the wind knocked out of me. I always cried at the end of my account and Mutsumi was there to give me a warm embrace; at least until I told her that I wanted to break up with Naru. She was just about to the point of screaming trying to talk me out of it. That happened a few weeks ago.

Ever since then, I haven't tried talking to her at all; sometimes even Naru punched me because I gave Mutsumi the cold shoulder. It was painful because of all the girls, I thought she understood me the best, but in the end, she thought Naru was the victim; everyone defended her no matter what. Yet, just leaving without saying anything didn't sit too well with me either.

I pull out my cell phone and call her. I hear the dial every other second. _This was stupid idea_. I thought. She's probably just going to try and talk me out of leaving. Mutsumi always won in her arguments; this was a bad idea.

"Keitaro!" I pull away from the phone quick; Mutsumi doesn't understand the word, quiet. "Oh my god, I've missed you so much! Are you finally talking to me?"

"Well, if you let me." I say in a bitter tone. "Can you talk a little quieter, I'm on the train."

"Oh, I'm sorry." she said a little softer. "I just got excited because you called me."

"It's as much of a surprise to you as it is to me." God, all this hurt is just spilling out. I didn't want to take it out on her most of all. Mutsumi is a understanding and joyful person; she just didn't see my side of things. I let a few moments pass to talk in a neutral tone. "I just want to let you know that I've left the Hinata Apartments."

"What?" she sounded startled. "What do you mean you left?"

"It means that I am now currently unemployed and homeless, sitting on the next train to Kyoto."

"But this is too sudden!" she shouted.

"Come now, Mutsumi. I've been telling you for months that I was going to leave; I just finally got around to doing it." I couldn't help but put a little self-righteous pitch into it. The fact that she didn't take me seriously enough was the icing on the cake. How does it feel to be told all the facts, but still ignore it? And now it was too late.

"But you said that you wouldn't!" she mumbled. I sigh.

"That was three weeks ago Mutsumi, a lot of things have changed since then… well more so than in the past few days." I could point fingers at everyone, but Naru was the deciding factor. I just can't live with a person that treats me like a dog. The truth was out in the open now, but that didn't make in any easier to take in. Worst part was that I thought those days were the greatest in my life; to realize that those experiences were for an ulterior motive was like realizing that your friends weren't really your friends. And that's exactly what's happened.

"Keitaro, what is going on with you? You used to be so happy and calm, but now you're the exact opposite." I almost laugh. Happy and calm? That didn't sound like me at all. I kept fake smiling so much that my face has become permanently stuck like that. And what for? Just for people to make a mockery of how I looked.

"Sorry to disappoint you because I'm not like that."

"I didn't mean it that way."

"Of course you did."

"No I didn't!" she shouted. "Stop twisting my words! No wonder Naru keeps flirting with Felix! Ah…"

"Wait, you knew?" I asked incredulous. "And you didn't think to tell me? What kind of a friend are you?!" My shouting caused some people to look my way, but I didn't care how loud I was; or going to be. "Why? For god sakes why?"

"Keitaro," she hesitated to continue. I heard her breathe deep. "Naru isn't serious. Please, don't be angry."

"Is that so?" I said in sarcasm. "Well I have some good news to tell you, Mutsumi." I couldn't hold back the venom in my voice; I didn't care. She knew that Naru was seeing someone else; probably everyone knew. I was the only one left in the dark. "Because Naru told me that she was absolutely serious about him and that I was just her 'servant'. Something to be 'owned'. Did she tell you all of that too?" I waited, but she didn't answer right away.

"Keitaro, I," she sounded like she was crying on the other line, but that didn't mean anything. She betrayed me; everything she said was just more lies. "I swear I didn't know, please believe me! I would never do anything to hurt you." she said in distress.

"I refuse." I say seething. "You could have told me, Mutsumi! You could've kept it from the rest of the world and I would've loved you for it." I choked up, coughing through the words. "But you didn't. So now where does that leave me? On the last train on earth to get away from backstabbers like you." I say choked up in my misery.

"Keitaro, I'm so, so sorry." she wailed in agony.

"Don't be, because I don't know who you are, nor do you know me. You're just saying sorry to a complete stranger." I could clearly hear her crying on the other side. But my anger wouldn't let me feel sympathy. "This is goodbye."

"Keitaro-" I hang up the phone. The ringing of my phone faded as I turned it off. It's too late for the "I should have's" and "I told you so's." Now I have to find out who I am, with no one's help, because my last link... just turned out to be a bad connection.

* * *

Okay, so first of all, I just have to say that this chapter left a bad taste in my mouth. But, that was the whole point of this chapter.

I'm thinking about doing a chapter where I let the Hinata girls do a little explanation of **why**, they took Naru's side instead of Keitaro's, but I'll let you fans tell me what you might want to see next.


	6. Alternusa: Unos, Duo, Tres

**Alternusa: Kitsune**

I feel like crying. I wanted to cry. But it'd only make it harder for everyone else. Especially for me. Because I didn't want him to go. I watched Keitaro walk away. Down those long steps that now feel too short. I hear Shinobu sobbing and Naru trying to comfort her. I refused to look at them. Because I didn't want to feel sympathetic. I earned this devil called regret that was gnawing at my conscience.

"Good riddance." said Motoko. I clenched my fists as she went inside. She was one of the reasons that Keitaro was leaving. Hurting him all the time with that damn sword. How many times did she swing at him? And for no good reason!

But, look at me. I wasn't much better. I pocketed so much money from him that I only thought of him as my get-out-debt card. I made fun of him all the time. I'm no different then the same people who gave me hell. God, how must Keitaro feel right now? Probably like shit. Maybe even worse than that. No wonder he wanted to leave. To get away from us, from me.

"Su!" Naru called. I saw Su dash down those steps. To go after Keitaro. How did she feel about all this? She may be a kid, but she was a freakin' genius too. But when it came to matters of the heart, she was clueless. But she just wanted to be given approval. And Keitaro gave her that. What is she thinking right now?

"Come on, Shinobu." Naru cooed. "He'll be back. He just needs to see that he was wrong about this and when he does, everything will be back to normal." I had to choke back a laugh. It was ironic because that was almost the same thing she said when she came back. To make us feel justified in kicking Keitaro out. It just happened, but I had a hard time recalling. Naru took Shinobu inside. It was just me and Sara.

I hope she doesn't make a stupid comment like Motoko. I've just had about all I could take from the people here. One more thing could set me off like a bull seeing red. Sara may be Seta's kid, but even that won't spare her from my wrath. Shit, I might as well--

"Why do I feel bad for the dork?"

"Huh?" was all I could say in surprise.

"I mean, he's not all that great of a person. He always let's Naru and Motoko do whatever they want to him. Why didn't he fight back? He's just taking all of this stuff sitting down. He's weak and a nerd. Nothing like papa at all. But, I don't want him to go like him either." That's when I saw her tears. I couldn't help but pat her on the head. She looked up at me with those dripping, azure eyes. "Why do I feel this way, Kitsune?" she sniffed.

"It's because he was one of the best things that ever happened to you. And seeing that go makes you feel sad." I'm just realizing it now too. "You and me both, we never knew what we had until we lost it. Keitaro was a little slow, but he had the patience of a saint. He put all of us on a pedestal. And I think that's what hurt him so much. Because he's found out that were not the perfect girls he made us out to be. Keitaro just got a severe kick in the mouth called reality and he's trying to deal with it. Alone."

"But he'll come back, right? Naru said so." she asked.

"I don't know. We hurt' em. And that's the truth we hafta' accept." A few moments passed. As I glance to the empty scene where Keitaro used to be.

"Did you love him?" I look at her. And thought seriously about it.

"Maybe I do. But a lot of good that did for him. I didn't take the effort to understand him. I immediately took Naru's side. Not even trying to see what he was going through. I just condemned him." And that hurts. It really does. Because it happened to me. But look what I did. I did the same thing. And made the biggest mistake of my life. "Even if I were to say sorry, would he accept it?"

"I don't think that Keitaro would be that cold. Because he's Keitaro" she answered. Wiping away her tears. "I hope he comes back. To tell him that I'm sorry. For hurting him all the time. I want him to pat me on the head, again. I already miss that feeling." There were going to be a lot of things that I'd miss too. But I'm gonna miss Keitaro just being around most of all.

**Alternusa: Motoko**

I run to my room and lock the door. I did not want any of them to see me this way. Weak and distraught.

"Why was I crying? I should be glad that the bastard was finally gone! I am a swordswoman of the Shin-Mei-Ryu! I am just shaming myself by showing weakness! I do not have use for these accursed emotions--"

"But then what do you have at the end of the day? All you have is your illusive honor--"

"Then that's just fine!"

"It is really? All you ever did before you came here was run away from your emotions--"

"I am not a coward--"

"Then what is Keitaro? He stood with you, yet you show gratitude by sending him to god knows where! He's a much better person then you are--"

"I am not a pervert--"

"And you are not? You write those erotic pieces of work--"

"I do not actually do any of those things--"

"And Keitaro does? When has he ever shown you anything but concern and compassion? You are quick to condemn him, but fashion yourself as innocent--"

"Stop it--"

"You are afraid to admit that you love the man!"

"I don't love him! I hate him!"

"Then why are you crying your heart out for a man you claim to have no feelings for?"

"Because, he doesn't love me back!"

It stopped. My spirit became silent and the maelstrom within my mind had quelled. In this moment of clarity I knew what was that was causing me such distress. I was jealous. I was scared that this ugliness would push him away.

Keitaro would always be so kind to me, but that was it. He always stopped when I was prepared to go further. It infuriated me to such an extent that I lashed out at him all the time. And I have lost him because of it. It terrifies me now to realize that I may never have the chance to say that I love you.

**Alternusa: Su**

"Keitaro oni-chan. Come back. Please don't leave. I'm sorry. I lied. I don't want you to go." I run down the stairs. I look around, but I couldn't see oni-chan anywhere. Did I lose him already?

I lock my eyes on the tea house. I run towards it. I see Haruka run out of there and throw up on the bushes. Ew. I wants to throw up too.

Keitaro walked out to her. He didn't leave yet. Yes. Maybe I could tell him to come back. But I stop because they're talking. I could hear everything they said. Keitaro is talking about everyone, even me. I didn't understand what they were saying really. Haruka is crying and telling him to stop. I don't know why she was crying. But it made me sad too.

When oni-chan was talking about Naru, his face got all… cold. I didn't know how else to describe it. What did "found another man" and "lost before I had" mean? It sounds like Naru found someone else to play with and Keitaro was leaving because of it. But he had everyone else. Shinobu, Sara, Kitsune, Motoko, and me. He shouldn't leave just because he was lonely. He's not alone.

Haruka said things that made more sad too. That we don't deserve Keitaro's defending. Did I do something bad? All I wanted to do was play with oni-chan. I didn't know that what I was doing was hurting him. I sniffed. Tears were in my eyes. I sniffed some more. I wipe them away.

I see Keitaro hugging Haruka, but at the hips. Haruka was red. Keitaro said something and Haruka punched him. I almost screamed. How could she hurt oni-chan? But wait… didn't Naru do that all the time too? How come I never asked him if it hurt? When Naru does it, it looked kinda fun. But when Haruka did it just now… poor oni-chan. I wonder what it feels like to be hit with one of my inventions. Does it hurt too?

I watch Haruka chase Keitaro. He was way faster. Haruka shouted at him to come back to see her. Keitaro screamed back that he would. But would oni-chan come back and see all of us? Or even me? Maybe he would come by to see Haruka, but only her? That would be very mean! I would want to see Keitaro too! He's my oni-chan after all!

"And what are you doing there, Su?" I freeze up. I look up to see a very angry Haruka.

"Um, hi." My right ear hurt all of a sudden. It hurt so much that I had to stand up. I then realize that Haruka was pulling it! "It hurts!" She let go. I hold my ear to make it feel better.

"That was the point." she sighed. Her face was… normal again. "How long have you been there?"

"Um, if I say yes, would you pull my ear again?" Haruka frowned. She extends her hand and I cover my ears quick. I was waiting to feel something hurt, but I feel her hand on my head instead.

"You came to see Keitaro, didn't you? Why didn't you come out?"

"Because," I look down and poke my fingers together. "oni-chan looked happy."

"Su, what happened up there?" I gulped. I really didn't want to say anything. Haruka was scary when she was mad. But I don't think lying would be good either.

"Um, we, that is… kicked Keitaro out of the Apartments?" I cover my face. I wait for her to scream, but nothing came.

"I know that much. I want to know why all of you guys agreed to it."

"Well, Naru said that even if we kick Keitaro out, he would come back to ask for forgiveness. And when that happened everything would go back to normal."

"And you guys believed that?"

"You mean Naru was lying? It sounded good to me. Keitaro always leaves sometimes and I thought this wasn't any different."

"Then why did you come here?"

"Because, it looked like Keitaro really meant it this time. He said some thing's that I didn't understand, but he had this look in his eyes that I never saw. It made me scared."

"I see." Haruka keeps looking at me. It made me nervous. "Su, what you heard, you can't tell anybody, understand?"

"Why?"

"Because, Keitaro is going to tell them." That made me happy. Because that meant Keitaro was coming back. But then Haruka pulled out some envelops. "There's a letter addressed to all of you." I hold out my hand. But Haruka didn't give me anything.

"I'll give them to you, only when the time is right. So you have to be good girl until then."

"But it's mine!"

"Keitaro gave them to me first because he knew that I'd give them to you when you were ready."

"But--"

"I said no, Su." I was mad. How could she be so mean? It's no like I did anything to her… but I did do something bad to oni-chan.

"Then how do I get the letter?"

"For starters, you can try and get along with Kanako when she comes to take over Keitaro's duty as manger."

"What?! I have to get along with the bitch goddess!" Haruka dropped her cigarette. She had a blank look on her face, then it cracked. She burst out laughing. Was it something I said?


	7. A Less Than Perfect Deux Ex Machina

Chapter Six: A Less Than Perfect Deus Ex Machina

"Hey! How long you planning to sleep, asshole?" I blink. Only one person would insult me. And I'm staring at her.

"I told you not to call me names, Kiara-san." I whack her on the head, slow. I stare down at her. She's on her hind legs. Wearing one of my sweaters that's too big for her small frame. I bet she's got nothing under it.

"Yeah? I don't like the fact that I have to deal with a bastard like you." she slaps my hand away. That woke me up. I pull off the covers and sit up, shirtless.

"What did I do this time?" she turns her head at the door diagonal from us. I pull her chin at me. "Look at me when I'm talking to you, brat." Her celadon eyes turn intense. "What do you want?" I lift strands of her russet hair that slip between my fingers.

"You know what I want." She emphasizes the "want."

"If I did, I wouldn't be asking." I pull my hands away from her and rest them on my lap.

"Yes, you would. Because that's the person you are, perv." A bitter laugh escapes me. She has no idea. The thought of Naru pisses me off beyond belief, but there is a better way of venting. I kiss Kiara-san hard on the mouth for a few seconds. A cute moan gets away from her. I push her hard enough to put her ass to the floor. Her underwear is out for me to see.

"I'm going to need that," I point at my sweater. "sweetheart." I walk towards her. She grips the fabric harder. "I'm serious, Kiara-san."

"Stop being a meanie. This is the only thing I have to wear. Or are you that desperate to see me naked?" I sigh and sit down with my back against the mattress.

"You still didn't tell me what you woke me up for."

"I couldn't tell you while you were kissing me." I snort.

"I'm not anymore. So, please get to the point already."

"I was getting to it." I growl.

"I'm still waiting. You know that you're the only person who teases me, right? You forget that no one else dares."

"Oh please." She giggles. "You're harmless to me." I wave her off.

"I'm going to take a piss." I walk to the bathroom. God, she never does anything, accept on her own terms. I must be a masochist for sharing an apartment with an attitude similar to certain someone's. Although, it is easier to get a long with Kiara-san because she's easier to read, I learned a lot of thing from her, but I had to pay for it with my virginity.

A learning experience as it were. I thought that having sex with a woman was sacred, but it really isn't once you see the other side of it. I've learned that the more you're detached from a one-night-stand, the better it is for you. It's simple really, you want something, they want something. Fulfill that need and everyone's happy. It's a system that suits me well. I'm not stupid enough to get into a relationship again. I thank Naru for that.

It's been half a year since I've left the Hinata Apartments. I haven't talked to Aunt Haruka about my living for a few months. Which is fine, because I don't want to. It might have to do with my new self, or resentment, but either way, I just want to leave my past behind. Like the earth shattering lyrics in "Now or Never."

_Its never too late  
And don't ever look back,  
Cause there's no future in the past_

It's advice that I picked up when I entered this insecure part of the world. Where nothing is safe and everything is make-or-break. When I compare myself to who I was, I'd never make it here. Where I'm living is considered the slums by a lot of people. Crime, drugs, clubs; a scene straight out of the ghetto, but people don't understand that some of the situations are exaggerated. Yeah, there are dangerous people among us, but that's in every place.

I refuse to live my life on what-if's anymore because it cost me, a lot.

"Hey, get out here!" Kiara-san said while pounding on the door. I opt to wait a few seconds. Kiara-san can't stand the silent treatment. Three… two… one… "I need a favor." Jackpot. I open the door.

"What is it?"

"You did that on purpose, didn't you?" I grin at her. "It's sucks that you know me so well." I keep quiet. She throws her hands up disgust. One thing I know about Naru-types - you don't spoil them or they become extreme bitches. "Fine, I owe you." Ah, the sweet words of submission. Nothing ever comes free. "Ach needs some help with his band tonight. His lead guitar got busted for something and won't be able to make it. So, I was thinking that you could fill in that role."

"Why are you telling me this? You know that we don't get along. After he found out that I slept with you, I'd thought he'd kick me out. I don't want to anything that'll risk my living conditions. Sorry, but you'll have to find someone else." I walk to my room, but Kiara-san gets in my way.

"You're the only one that can do this! If you feel anything for me--"

"Don't even try, sweetheart. You know that I don't play the pity game." I cross my arms and glare at her. I despise people doing others' dirty work. "Besides, shouldn't he be the one asking?" She sighs and looks away.

"Something on the wall?"

"Goddammit, Keitaro! Ach finally got a break! He needs this. The dream that he's been chasing for the past few years is here. He shouldn't be punished for a mistake that one of his crew made." Tears well up in her eyes, just before she wipes them away.

"All he ever does is hurt you. Why do you stick around with him?"

"Because I love him." I hate the word.

"You say that so easily, but do you really feel that way? Or maybe you feel you owe him something? Maybe you're even trying to delude yourself into staying with him? Whatever the reason, I don't think he deserves you, sweetheart."

"Do I deserve you?" That hurt; in a lot of ways. It reminds me of who I used to be. Even then I didn't deserve anyone. Here I am now, a man who's just wasting his time away by living in the moment. I fell from grace and turned away from the people who knew me. So why does my past still hurt so much?

"I don't deserve anyone, Kiara-san. I'm so broken down that it's laughable. I loved once and lost. That's enough for me." At least, I want it to be. Hopefully, saying it enough will make it true and make the pain go away.

"You didn't answer my question."

"We're off topic. If I do this for you, what will I get in return?"

"Me."

"Hell no." This is getting way out of hand and I didn't like the direction it's going.

"Why not? Aren't I good enough? I did teach you how to please a woman."

"I paid the price. I'm not that naïve anymore. This is bullshit, sweetheart. I though that you loved Ach-san and the first thing you offer me is your body. What kind of love is that?"

"The only one I can give."

"Then it's not love. You want this like a proper lady wants to pay off her debt. Unfortunately, I'm not buying."

"I hate you."

"I know. Anything else you want to add?"

"I liked the person you used to be."

"I was that person, before I found out that I lost my virginity to another man's woman." She takes of the sweater and offers it to me. I instinctively look away, but I can see the blue lace she wears off the corner of my eye.

"Here, this makes us even." I groan.

"Put it on."

"Why won't you look at me? Before you couldn't get enough of me and now you turn away like I'm repulsive." Hardly, but someone has to be in control.

"I know what I did. I'm not doing it again." I grab the sweater and pull it over her. "I think that Ach-san is an asshole, but I'm taking the high road and saying no. No man should have to feel the agony of being cheated on." She slips her arms through the sleeves, only to hug me.

"That's what I love about you."

"That's funny, because it's what used send me through the atmosphere." She gives me a look and laughs.

"I don't know how you can say that with a straight face." Probably because it's true, I can see the hilarity in all of it and laugh too.

* * *

Alright, so this is Keitaro's life after the Hinata Apartments. Contrary to the title, this is still an ongoing series. I've had some comments about the last chapter "Alternusa", and have had some mixed feedback. For now, I will be keeping the story soley as Keitaro's point of view. I'll probably be doing future chapters in the third person POV, but only in times of high tension or as a transition between the arc's.

Any questions or concerns can come in the form of review's. Have I mentioned that review's help the story develop faster?


	8. Life After You

Chapter Seven: Life After You

6 Months ago…

I drifted back and forth between sleep and the present on the train. Memories appeared like photographs all in a procession of random images, then vanished like awakening from a dream. Some of the things I remember didn't even happen. It's funny how we make up things to make us feel better. Looking back, it's painful to see what could've been between me and them, between me and her. Yeah, and people in hell want ice water. Memory is such an unreliable application, but without it, I have nothing - no past, no present. However, the future, I can look forward too.

I pass through the different towns and cities for three days. Sustaining myself with the delicious, but expensive lunches. When night approached, I slept in average hotels. I could tell they were average by the color of the floors... most of them had visible stains. I finally ended up at the perfect place by the sea... at the ass-end of the earth. Walking down the littered streets reminded me that I was just like the garbage on the curb... Used and thrown away. I chuckled at the irony.

Looking through the different hotels was a tedious task. Most of them weren't even decent... One didn't even have a _bed_ for crying out loud! By nightfall, I was already on my sixth try for a place to just spend the night. But then I noticed some bright lights further in the town. I could tell that it was the downtown area just by all the neon lights and active atmosphere. I entered a place called "The Hall."

The place doubled as a tavern and inn, not only that, multiple floors were decked out in the back for entertainment. The bar was at the left of the establishment, with all the ornamented bottles and glasses behind the bar top. The majority of the room was laid out with wooden chairs and tables with which people sat in and conversed. But the most stunning feature was a chandelier hanging from the boarded ceiling. I was so awestruck by the pristine crystal shards that I got shoved into the bar top.

"New here?" the bartender asked.

"You can tell?" I reply.

"The duffel bag gave you away." I sit up on one of the bar stools and set my bag between my legs. "So, what brings an uptown kid like you to the boonies?"

"A fresh start I guess. The place didn't really matter, I just wanted to get as far away from the _hell hole_ I came from." I look at the drinks they offered and tried to order a beer, just to keep up with appearances. But for some reason, the bartender didn't oblige me.

"Let me give you a little advice, _kid_." he leaned over with a menacing glare. "You don't want to be starting a new life here. I'm telling you right now that you'd only be trading one hell hole for another. This city doesn't treat pansies like you very well. Why not just hall your ass back from where you came from?"

"If it's all the same to you, I think I'll just ask for a room..." I squint at his name tag. "Dane-san." I whisper back. The bartender stood back and laughed.

"I like you, kid, but guys like you don't tend to last long. I'll probably be hearing about your death on the late night news." I blink, how discouraging can you get? But the way he said it, made me feel like he wasn't joking... considering where I am, I don't think he is. He bends down and opens a drawer. Tosses me a key.

"Room 219. Take the stairs to your left up to the second floor then take a right."

"What about my beer?" He lifted an eyebrow.

"You don't need that to sleep, do you?"

"Not really, but I'm real _thirsty_." He flipped out a glass and set it on the table. Dane poured clear liquid into it.

"One glass of glistening, clear, nectar." I take a sip and frown.

"It's just water."

"Water is good for you and it quenches your thirst. Plus it's free." I knew the guy was being difficult, but why, was beyond me. I drank the rest of the water, thanked him, and went upstairs to my room.

The inside was pretty nice: a clean bed, lamp, air conditioner, and a TV - what more could I ask for in this city?

I toss my bag on the bed. And drop on top of it. Looking around this town was exhausting. I haven't even eaten anything yet. I was hoping to fill myself up with alcohol... but no. The bartender/innkeeper wanted to glare at me to death. I just thought about my empty stomach and went to sleep.

* * *

I woke up gripping my forehead... man, I drank _way _too much. Flippin' hell, I'm getting clubbed! I jump off the bed, on the opposite side of my attacker. Which put my back against the wall. I grab the lamp, intending to use it as a weapon, but it's been nailed down. Shit!

The silhouette swings. I duck, but get caught on my left shoulder! I get knocked into the lamp stand, splintering the wooden craft. On instinct, I grabbed anything within reach. I throw a piece of wood at the assailant. He bats it away. But it gives me time to get my bag and swing it around like a lasso. At least I had something, but my attacker had the advantage. However, all those beatings I got from my managerial days made me tougher than nails. I'm just gonna have to give as good as I get!

I swing downward at his head. He swings again and knocks the bag out my hand. But he was open! I tackle him to the ground. He hits his head with a resounding crack. But he comes up swinging and I get my head conked! I slam my fist into his face in return. He drops the bat and cradles his nose. I go for the finisher, hitting him in the solar plexus. The assailant doubles over in pain and rolls over in a fetal position.

I get up and flip the switch, which only lights the lamp in the corner. Then I notice that I'm bleeding. Well, misfortune comes in bundles now doesn't it?

"I don't know who the hell you are, but I'm sending you there faster than the cops will get here, asshole!" I walk to the door… only to have it slammed on my face. "Goddamn shit!" I shout. I've been as angry as I've ever been. Isn't this what I left the Apartments for? To get away from all of this… mayhem? I turn to the one who caused it. "Hey, knock before you come in!"

"Shut up, douchebag." The russet haired woman didn't even turn around to put a face with the insult. She was frantic from what I could tell with her body language.

"You've gotta be kidding me, I'm the one who's bleeding for chris'sakes." She made a sound of disgust. "What in God's name are you doing in _my_ room? Depending on your answer, I'll charge you with attempted robbery or attempted murder." She shivered in reaction. How's that for getting your attention you little witch? The female rose to her feet… and pinned me with the worst case of puppy dog eyes I'd ever seen. Her cherub face and celadon eyes didn't help my case.

"Look, sir, you seem like a reasonable guy, how about we make a deal?" Sir? Do I look that old? At least the dear has some manners. But damn, she sure is cute. Her being shorter was an added bonus… what the hell am I saying?!

"You think you're in any position to deal? You better start talking, darling." Keep your head in the game Keitaro Urashima! Her boyfriend almost killed you. The russette was shaking now. The dear looked over shoulder, mumbling something inaudible.

"Don't do it." the man said roughly.

"I've got no choice. You put us in this mess, I've gotta get us out." She looked back at me. "Can we talk at my place?"

"And let your boyfriend get away? Screw that. If got something to say-" She presses her lips against mine. Good Lord, how I missed this feeling. Heat rushed through my body like an open flame against paper. I kiss her back…I push her away.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Isn't it obvious." she said breathlessly.

"I'm not buying what you're selling." Shit, the blood was really dripping now. I wipe it away. "Look, just pay me for the broken lamp stand and get out of here." I didn't want this woman anywhere near me, especially with the feelings she stirred up within me… I thought I locked away. The relief on her face was endearing to me, made her look more desirable. I was losing my flippin mind. She took out her wallet and handed me $50.

"You're a nice guy." she beamed.

"Whatever, get your man and get out." I pocket the money. "If you'll excuse me…" I rush into the bathroom and lock the door. Shit, I can handle being launched into orbit and crashed through concrete, but I can't handle the sight of blood.

"You okay in there?" she banged on the door.

"Get the hell _out_!" I barely get out. I reach for a roll of toilet paper and tear through the wrapping. This creeping feeling enveloping around me meant that I was going to faint soon. I wrap my head as quick as possible. I didn't even bother to look in the mirror…

* * *

"Damn…" This was the second time I woke up with a head hurting. "Double damn." This was not a good time to be on the floor. I get up slowly to look in the mirror. The toilet paper didn't help much since blood drenched me down to my now red stained shirt. I tear through the wet material and toss it in the toilet to be flushed. I wash my blood encrusted face. The wound on my head seemed to have closed. At least my "regenerative powers" haven't changed since I left.

Shit, what kind of excuse am I gonna tell the guy at the front desk? "Hey, somebody tried to rob me, but I beat him up, but then I got sidetracked by his cute girlfriend who gave me fifty bucks for the repairs on the lamp stand, is it enough?" I swear I've been cursed.

I'm gonna have to own up to this sooner or later, might as well get it over with while I can't feel anything. All that blood loss made me groggy and numb… maybe it isn't a good time to admit to everything when I can barely stand. Come on, man up Keitaro! You've taken worse beatings than this and you didn't even fight back those times… take pride in that.

I walk down the hallway and down the stairs, reaching the stairway… only to be blocked by two goons with guns in their hands.

"You should go back upstairs, ni-san." said the one with the shades. The other one was nodding in agreement and picking his teeth with a toothpick. I look past them and see the red head… holding my bag.

"I knew it." I sigh. "The girl took my stuff." Anger shot up through me… but only for a moment. The girl was surrounded by a gang of guys. All who were likened to criminals, but then I saw her sitting on a table. If there was an angel on earth, it was this woman. She looked at me, motioning to come forward. The goons grabbed me arm-in-arm, bringing me to her. Good Lord, up close she's intimidating. Like I'm being stared down by something hallowed.

Her dark midnight blue eyes… was like staring at the night sky. Accentuating her gorgeous visage, was a dimple under her right eye. The golden shade of her hair, flickered under the chandelier's light. Giving an impression of something uncatchable. Yet, the most… attractive feature around the damsel was her curves. Especially with her short T-skirt exposing much of her thighs and legs wrapped in fishnet stockings. Even with her suit on, I could see the deep V which didn't leave much to the imagination. I look away before I get smacked for indecent admiration. I learned my lesson a long time ago.

"You must be the new man in town." she said with an accent I couldn't place. A few seconds pass and I get nudged.

"Yes, my lady." I answered. Her face lit up in amusement as she chuckled. The deepness of her alto voice had a seductive quality to it, mentally drawing me to her.

"I can assure you that I am no lady, Sir Galahad, but you may address me as such. However, I have some unfinished business with my cute little kitten here." She steps onto the hardwood floor, rising to her full height, which was my stature. She walked with grace in each stride, making an echo with her high heel boots.

"So, my dear Kiara-chan, where is the money that you owe me?" She points at my duffel bag cradled in the girl's hands. "I hope for your sake that is it."

"I need more time, Duchess."

"Time you say?" she inquired. "I have given you ample time to repay me." I cringed. The one called Kiara-san got backhanded across her face, hard. The dear shielded her cheek, as a tear feel down the other. "Where is Ach? He should be here as well."

"He ran away." she said in a flat tone. Well, some boyfriend he turned out to be. I thought he had some guts when he tried to rob me, but turns out his bat is made of more stuff than he is. I felt bad for Kiara-san, even if she stole from me.

"That's too bad, but don't be too sad my dear. After all, you won't need a man to pay off your debt. You'll be doing that all on your own… as one of my courtesans."

"Dear God no!" she cried. "Please, don't make me… sell my body." Kiara-san dropped to her knees, her head bowed, and hands on the floor. I'll get you the money, I swear." Her wailing was pitiful and so was her situation. Just how much did she borrow from this boss lady?

"I don't trust you anymore, Kiara-chan. At least this way you'll be able to pay off your debt in ten years, without worrying about living expenses." I was sick to my stomach at this point. I couldn't take anymore.

"Wait. She doesn't have to start off as a show girl from the start. Maybe she can start from the bottom as a waitress or dish washer… something that's simple." All eyes came on me, except the Duchess's.

"Unfortunately, my Kiara-chan has a debt that would take years to pay off. I'm not patient enough for that kind of repayment." She turned to give me a feral stare that made me nervous. "I suggest you keep quiet, my knight. This doesn't concern you."

"You're right, my lady." I mumbled. "But I know the pain of suffering a unjustly punishment for a vice I didn't commit. It hurts me to see the same occurrence happening to another."

"Empathy is a beautiful thing, Sir Galahad. However, this is not the case here. My dear little kitten has borrowed an immense amount of money for the sake of her beloved. Yet, what did he do in turn? He abandoned her when things became dangerous. Such is the character of all man." She walked towards me. Then lightly brushed her fingers against my face, almost like a caress. But then she raked her hands across my neck, drawing blood. Everything in me was tense, but I can't afford to show weakness to such a woman. It would mean my demise.

"The same could be said about women. We profess our love, or loyalty to you. In return we are mistrusted. Always the first to be blamed, always the one wrong, and always… never given believed. I may be wicked to you, but to me, you can be considered just as despicable." I felt the similar feeling of a sharp blade at my throat. I looked to see that most of them were ready to kill me for the insult to there Duchess. I was ready for it. I won't be chastised to submission. This is my declaration.

"Those words may be your last… but not today." the Duchess said. She motioned for her men to put there weapons away. "You seem to know the absurdity of love, my knight. I can see the same rawness that you carry within. Perhaps you can soothe the pains within me?"

What was her game? She looks at me as though I hold the absolute truth of the universe. I laugh mentally. I shouldn't push my luck any further. Danger didn't like being provoked.

"I can only speak for myself and the history I came with. I won't pretend to know what true love is because that would be a lie."

"That answer is no answer at all." she challenged. "But, I guess I must be satisfied with your neutrality. We have strayed away from the main topic, _Sir Galahad_."

"By all means, my lady…"

"We shall meet again, my knight." she hands me a key card. "You have been provocative and intriguing, as a reward, make use of the room on the third floor. Ask my bartender there to give you the code for upstairs." She puts on her overcoat and signals for her departure… but stops at the door. "Oh, and do take care of Kiara-chan for me. I will be needing her as my new waitress for tomorrow. Until then, Sir Galahad." she winked. Heat rises through me as quick as a lit zippo.

The door closes with a resounding thud after her departure. I lean against one the chairs to keep steady.

"You're one lucky bastard, you know that?" said Dane.

"Tell me about it. For a second there, I thought I was dead meat." That was probably the stupidest thing I did in my life… but it felt good. And I'm savoring it. Because I still had my pride and that's something I'm not givin' up easily.

"Anyway, it's time I close the place. It's already 5 in the mornin'. If you wanna get into the Duchess's VIP room, hurry up and get the girl."

"Who? Oh, right." Almost forgot about her. "Hey, Kiara-san. The Duchess's told me to take care of you. I'm pretty sure that means you sleeping in a decent bed. Come on, before Dane-san turns off the lights." She didn't budge… but gave me a dumbstruck look instead.

"What just happened?"

"Are you slow or something? Look, if you want to stay up all… morning thinking about it, that's your choice. But I am not going to be on the lady's bad side." Still she didn't move. "Oh, for chris'sakes." I reach for her wrist, but that would be too assholish. I grab her hand as gentle as possible. She looks up at me. "Look, I know a lots happened to you, but sleeping in on a table isn't going to help you. But getting a clear head does wonders, darling." She nodded.

"Hey, Dane-san!" I shout.

"Shut up, I'm here." he shouts back. I look to see him leaning on the banister on the third floor in the back. "The room's over here, dumbass." I raised an eyebrow. "You really didn't think the Duchess'll be sleeping with the rest of the population, did you? Her rooms up here."

I snort in disgust. "It was an honest mistake." I walk up the room, pulling Kiara-san with me. At the top floor of the entertainment section, was a door with a number lock.

"Turn around for a second while I open it." I turn my back… and cover the girls eyes.

"You really are slow, you know that?" I here a click and the door slides open. "Hi-tech indeed." Dane-san gave a snort.

"The Duchess is a high maintenance woman so she needs the best locks for her private needs."

"And why is it that a local bartender knows all this stuff?" He smile's in reply. Man, what kind of a connection does this guy have with a boss lady?

"The rooms at the end of the hall. When you get there, just slide the key card and you'll get in." We enter. "Oh, and one more thing, just use the main room. That means no entering of the other rooms, got it." I nod. Dane-san leaves to finish up closing.

We get to the end of the hall. I slide the key card and the door unlocks. Man I was tired, I didn't even want to turn the lights on from what I could tell there was couch in front of a bed. "You take the bed, I get the couch, deal."

"Yeah…" she mutters. Damn right, 'yeah'. You're getting the good side of the deal. I jump on the couch and fall asleep instantly.

* * *

I know it's been a long ass time since I updated, but I took some good advice and took my time with the chapter to make it longer. Anyway, I hope for some review's soon.


	9. The Bitter Hell That Guides Us

Chapter Eight: The Bitter Hell Which Guides Us

"Good morning, lover." said a female voice. I stir awake.

"This is definitely new. I've never had this kind of feeling before. Having a gorgeous beauty in my arms in the morning." I pull the girl on top of me, wrapping my arms around her. Relishing the warmth.

She laughs. "You really need a shower, Mr. Ranky."

I sniff myself. "I don't think I'm that bad. Besides, I'm feeling really comfy right now." I emphasize by squeezing her tight. She squeals. "Are you going to be mean and kick me off?"

"Actually, you're the only thing that's keeping me warm. I like where I am." That makes two of us. Her long russet hair draped down the sides of her face, spilling all around the bed.

"Me too." So this is what it feels like to hold someone. I like it - a lot. It's strange. I'm holding a complete stranger, but I don't feel scared about that. And she seems to like me embracing her too.

"You're not going to try and do me are you?" What a weird question.

"Why would you think that?"

"In my experience, girl on top means 'bang'." Those words tugged at my heart.

"Would you feel better if I said I don't believe in sex till marriage?"

"Very."

"Then you have nothing to worry about." She nuzzled my neck.

"I barely know you, but I feel okay like this."

I did too. I always wanted to embrace Naru like this... I wonder if she felt this same feeling with someone else and that was why Naru cheated on me. Yeah, right. Anytime I so much as touched her, she'd go ballistic. How ironic that the intimacy I wanted could be found somewhere else. But, then how come she could be with another guy? "Do you think I'm repulsive?"

"Not really." She planted her hands next to my chest and looked down at me. "Or do you think I'm easy?" Women easy? Puh-lease.

"It's not that, it's just... I had a girlfriend before who hated me touching her."

"Seriously? Maybe she's a lesbian."

"What?" I stood up on eye level with her. That would make a lot of sense, but I know Naru is definitely straight.

"I mean, I can't speak for all women, but I like hugs and caressing."

"Not hugs and kisses?" She sat and crossed her legs.

"Kissing is a different thing. Having a kiss stolen makes me feel like shit. Kissing to turn me on usually feels like shit. And the most aggravating of all, kissing on the cheek feels like shit!"

I'm surprised to say the least. Looking at her closely, I guess she is hard to resist. "I can understand the first two, but why the cheek?"

"Because it's a sneaky thing to do."

"Sneaky? I thought it was a nice thing."

"Maybe because you're a guy, but men get frisky when they think they've got permission to go beyond the friendship mark."

Couldn't disagree with that. Had the same problem with Naru. "But how do you when to be intimate with someone you love?"

"Can't say. I've never been in love."

"Never?" I thought girls fall in and out love all the time.

"By my definition. Yeah, never."

Then my brain turned on. "Aren't you the girl I met last night?"

"You're just now realizing that?" she sighs. "Which probably means you think I'm a bitch. Fuck." Christ, how could I forget those celadon eyes and that face?

"You did try to steal my stuff. And you are the reason I tangoed with the Duchess. But that's neither here or there. Right now I just want to know what you're definition of love is."

"Why? So you can fuck me over like every other asshole I've ever been with?"

"No, because I think that you might have the solution to my problem."

"You being single?"

I sigh. "I'm just going to ignore all of your jabs, alright? I honestly want to know you're perspective."

"Fine. Your probably just leading me on, but I don't think you can love someone. I think you can learn to like someone, but love just doesn't exist in my world."

"What do you mean by like?"

"You know, as in being able to care about someone."

"Isn't that the same as love?"

"No, it isn't."

"How so?"

"Love is when you're absolutely dedicated to one person and you can't ever live without that person. Liking someone means that you can be with anyone."

"But that isn't fair to the person that you're with."

"Yeah, well any relationship I've been in ends when I find about him being with another girl or vice versa. So I really try not to be the one getting dumped. I'm not too worried about being alone though, because there's always someone else who thinks I'm attractive."

"And you're okay with that?"

"You aren't?"

"No, I'm not. That way of thinking just means you're fickle."

"All women and all men are all equally fickle."

"Not me. I can only be dedicated to one person. I want more than just a fling. If I get in a relationship, I'm only in it for the long haul."

She looked at me with disbelief. "You're the first guy I've ever met who thinks that."

"Well--"

"Good morning, boys and girls." the Duchess hollered as she came through the door. "I trust that you had a good night's rest Kiara-chan, Sir Galahad?"

"Enough with the Sir Galahad, my lady. May I inquire why you are here so early in the morning?"

She frowned. "It's nine o'clock, a perfectly acceptable hour to present one's self. And I will call you whatever I please, Sir Galahad. In the future, refrain from any commands directed at me... for the repercussions are quite severe."

The Duchess's tone implied she wasn't kidding. "I will take in under advisement, my lady."

"See that you do." she switched her attention to Kiara. "Are you ready for your fist job, kitty?"

"It's not like I have much of a choice..."

"Of course you do! Why, I could set you up as one of my paramour's and have you pay off your debt in a matter of years!"

"Did I say I didn't have a choice? I meant to say, I'm at your service Duchess!"

"My car is waiting outside." Kiara practically ran out the door.

"That was cruel, my lady."

"What? Letting her choose to pay off her debt faster is hardly callous, Sir Galahad."

"How kind of you to find a synonym for whore."

"Are you finished? I have serious business to discuss with you."

"Right now? No offense intended, my lady. But Kiara-san is waiting for us."

"She can wait."

"But-"

"Why are you so eager to be with her? I realize that your nature is chivalrous to a fault, yet you seem quite irritable. Did something happen between the two of you that I should know about?"

I frown. "I'm sorry, my lady. But that is none of your business."

"I see." Those words had an underlying tone of disappointment to them. How odd. "Come, Sir Galahad."

"Didn't you have something to discuss with me?"

"I have forgotten about it. Come along now, we have much to do and so little time." I follow her out the door without question. This day just got a whole lot more complicated.


	10. Introduction to a New Life

Chapter Nine: A Unique Inception

"What do you do exactly, my lady?" I ask the Duchess._ Other than the fact she could order around a group of thugs, I didn't know much about her... Well, I did know the fact she's some kind of a procuretress, but other than that, nothing._

"That is none of your business." she huffed. _I bet she's still mad at me about that. God, it's not like I could tell her I was having a rather private conversation with her... girl? That's really the only way I could describe the relationship between Kiara-san and the Duchess._

_ Speaking of Kiara-san. I turn my attention to her sitting across from me. She looks scared out of her mind. Her entire body is trembling. Poor thing. I touch her knee. She looked up at me._ "Don't worry, everything'll be okay." _She game me half a smile, trying to calm down._

"Where are you taking us, my lady?"

"To my establishment." she said quickly.

_You're not going to make this a comfortable ride are you? Fine, be a self righteous bitch. I'll just go ahead and the stereotypical asshole._

"Can I open the window? I'm dying here."

"I'd rather you not, the wind will whip my hair in disarray."

"Then I guess you had better wrap it up in a bun." I push the window down.

"Put the window up back this instant!" she sputtered. I gave her my shit eating grin.

"Why don't you come and make me?" She lunged at me and wrapped her cold hands around my neck. I didn't move, just looked.

"Do you wish to die?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?" She squeezed and I coughed in reaction.

"I'm not the mood for idle conversation, Sir Galahad. Keep any and all thoughts to yourself." _Her lips were almost touching mine as she talked. Her breath was intoxicating. Not to mention that I could feel her body against me._

"Is that an order or a suggestion?" I could barely get the words out. The Duchess shifted her hands down to my waist. _I'm in a very precarious position right now. Her thighs pressed on the outside of mine. The deep V of her dress showed me some of the ampleness underneath. She moved forward so her face was inches away from my ear._

"You may take it as you wish. But don't say I didn't warn you. I have had lesser men killed for looking at me inappropriately." she whispered.

"I will take it under advisement." _Now please get off of me before I do something really stupid. Thinking with my head is really hard to do at the moment._

"See that you do." The Duchess slinked off of me. But not before I felt her slap. _Let me tell you, I kinda prefer getting launched by Naru and Motoko. At least I didn't have to deal with the awkwardness right after. Instead of holding my cheek like a rejected lover, I close my eyes and try to imagine where we're going. But my mind always drifted back to where I came from..._

_ A crack that is never melded will eventually expand. I don't think that my failed love with Naru was all her fault. I'm sure that I did something's that disturbed Naru's fury. But, what didn't? Talking to our friends made her mad to no end. She'll be like, "What did you say to so and so?" or "Why did you go out with so and so?". It may have been my first relationship, but even I know she was being over controlling. That one talk may have been what set her off. A trivial thing that created a crack. That expanded so extensively to the end of the earth... _

"We are here, Sir Galahad." I jumped up._ Must've fallen asleep. Getting out the car, I look around. From what I could tell, we we're in a parking lot. Either underground or in a building. _Kiara-san grasped my hand as she got out too. I squeeze her to reassure that it was okay. Two guys with sunglasses and black suits got out the front of the car. One of them offered the Duchess a hand.

"That won't be necessary, John." she snarled. Shifting my attention to her. "Please do offer me a hand, my knight."

What an odd thing to say when one of her own men did. "If you insist, my lady." I let go of Kiara's hand and take hers. For some reason she grinned. Instead of gently pulling her out of the car, I practically forced her out. Making her collide with my body. "I don't appreciate the jabs, my lady."

"You bastard I'll-" John yells and pulls out a M9 pistol simultaneously.

"Put it away, John." the Duchess said serenely. "If you want to feel my breasts, do so discretely."

"I have no intention of-" my lips were pinched together before I could finish.

"John, what did we do to that impudent thug last week?"

"Exploded his place with C4's, while he was still in it, Duchess. The idiot was shitting his pants when we left him tied to a chair. Probably one of the most pitiful things I've ever seen in my life." _I felt Kiara tremble behind me. My own legs were a bit shaky too. Dammit, what kind of a world did I descend into? These people talk about killing so easily. Without any remorse. _

"Is that supposed to scare me? If it is, I can honestly say that I am. I am human after all." The Duchess looked at me wide eyed, before laughing. After a few seconds her hysterics trickled down to a mere cackle.

"Yes, I suppose that is true. Being in my world will require a certain amount of immunity to the ugliness of death. Are you scared of me, simpleton? I suppose you are. But are you scared enough to abandon the young woman by your side?"

"No." I didn't have to think about my answer. "I will help Kiara-san repay her debt and free her from this vocation. You can insult my character as you see fit, but I will remember each one as if they were a scar on my body."

"Is that so? I'm happy that you will. Wear them proudly, for I usually don't exhaust effort on vagabonds like you."

I didn't want to say anything this time. Every time I say anything, I dig myself deeper into a hole. And I'm already chin deep...

"Follow me." said the Duchess as she passed me. John followed in succession. Kiara-san grabs my hand and pulls me forward to follow.

"You know that you're an idiot right?" she says. "I mean, you know that the Duchess could kill you anytime right?"

"I'm not an idiot. I'm a man. And yeah, I do know." _What's she getting irritated for?_

"Apparently! But even a kid knows when to stop being smart, you know."

"You've never been harassed before. If I don't stick up for myself, I might as well be a dog." And believe me, I'm never going to be that again.

"You're just being hard-headed. But thanks for sticking with me."

"It was nothing. I just didn't want to be a liar."

"When the Duchess asked about you leaving, my heart kinda stopped. But you didn't even hesitate at all. So... thanks." She stopped mid stride and looked at the floor. _I realize that even though she's here in this place, she's still a little girl at heart. And that's why I wanted to protect her._ I pat her head.

"You're welcome, darling."

"I'm not a little kid you know." she lightly swatted my hand away.

"But you're just so cute that I couldn't help it."

"Stop it. Come on let's go." She pulled be along as we caught up with the Duchess, who was waiting at the end of the hallway with double hinged doors.

"I'd like to welcome you to my establishment, Sir Galahad. The Valkyrie Host."

* * *

Dear Naru,

Enough. I just had enough of it. To me, someone's word is their bond. A promise. If you can't keep it, then why make it right? I'm not stupid. I know that things come up, you know? I can understand if it's something really important. And I stress the important part to its full extent. But if it's something you forgot then... aren't you supposed to have the courtesy to at least call?

I'm only human. I can't stay near the phone waiting for you to tell me why you're unable to make it. But if you call, you can at least leave a message right? And if it's close to the preordained time, don't you have a sense of urgency? I called your cell at least four times. Were you not there? I can only imagine what you were doing. I'm not psychic. And you wonder why I'm mad at you. Do you want me to spell it out for you? I'm usually the type of person that lets things go, but if it's important to me, I just can't let it go...

I can't stand it when you give me hope. You say things that you'll do for me or things that you'd give me. But it's all a false hope. Why would you do something like that? And you keep doing it so many times... Do you want to hurt me? Do you want me to be nothing more than a friend for your convenience? Well I'm sorry but I just can't do that it. It's a two way street, angel. You couldn't keep it that way and that's why we failed, why you failed... me.

Goodbye forever,

Keitaro Urashima


	11. Alternusa Vulpes

Alternusa - Vulpes

"It's funny, isn't it? I can't believe he wrote this! 'Goodbye forever' Like I'm going to miss him! Right, Kitsune?" Naru said deliriously.

"Yeah, I guess." If it shuts you up. I barely listen to all of her ranting. I don't understand why she keeps bringing it up. Doesn't she get that the subject is banned right now? Leave it to Naru to be the Queen of Oblivious...

I keep staring at the half-empty decanter in my hand, like it'll solve all of my problems. Well, it used to. But the emptiness inside of me can't be filled up with a bottle of sake. Something else needs to. Nothing in this container, this room, this apartment, or even this city can satisfy me. No, only he can. The only man in my life, maybe the only person, who gave a damn... and now he's gone. Thinking about it twists my heart. The sad thing is that I try not to think about him, but I can only find some peace when I do. A continuous cycle of my own creation, of pain and comfort, with no end in sight.

Looking up at the calendar on the wall, I realize how time here passes so slow. Three weeks. Keitaro hasn't even been gone a month, but how things have changed... How much we've changed.

Shinobu has been crying non-stop since he's been gone... the trinity that made up her heart, split. One for her friendship with Naru. One for her love for Keitaro. And one for herself, the part that made her, her. We rarely see her anymore. She's always sticking around Keitaro's room... I think out of all of us, she took Keitaro's leaving the hardest.

Suu's attitude was the most dramatic turn... she's all serious and melancholic now, like the machines she's making. Her appetite's even curbed now. She barely eats as much as us, but that might have to do more with the fact that Shinobu's only been cooking for two. One for her and one for Keitaro... though Shinobu sometimes cooks for all of us, it's more out of habit. As the saying goes, habits die hard. Most of us have been trying to use the food bill to buy some frozen dinners, but Haruka entrusted her with the groceries... Anyway, it's suffice to say that Suu hasn't been Suu since Keitaro's absence.

Leading me to Sara... without her playmate to keep her company, she's mostly trying to do stuff on her own. But that happy-go-lucky outlook of hers has diminished. She's spending most of her time around me, which isn't a good thing since I really don't do anything. I just pat her head and try to lull her to sleep. Sometimes she watches me when I write about some stupid article to get a little cash in my hands... I guess I've changed in that regard too, if I don't have money I don't ask others for it. Probably why I haven't drinking all that much either... same goes for eating. I keep thinking about getting a part-time job, but you can't really get any jobs around this area since there mostly family owned businesses. I'd have to go out town and commute my way back... but I'd feel really bad leaving Sara here alone. We eat together, we sleep together, we even bathe together. I guess my maternal side is showing... but it's probably because Sara reminds me a little of me. Growing up, I didn't have a father figure in my life and my mom was usually working two jobs just trying to get ends meet. Sara doesn't have her mom anymore in her life. Her father figures are gone too... Seta and now Keitaro. It's hard to deal with people leaving, especially since she's a little girl. She just doesn't have the power to change things. As an adult, I don't think that I can change things either...

Motoko's been the most distant though. It's hard to imagine why, since she's been one of the more emphatic voices about Keitaro leaving. She doesn't seem happy about it. Probably has to do with the fact that she's opened her heart up to Keitaro. She hated weakness above all else. Now it's like, Motoko doesn't want to be strong... she's more open about showing her other emotions. It would explain why she secludes herself like Shinobu... I feel bad for all the girls, but I blame all of them too. I blame myself...

As for Haruka well, she's been the enigma through all of this. When she came up from the tea house, I was pretty damn sure she was going to let all of us have it before kicking us out.

"Hey Kitsune, have you been listening to me?" Naru asked.

"Not really, you've pretty much been saying the same thing over and over again. It's starting to be annoying."

"Hpmh. If you won't listen to me, I'll find someone else who will."

"Good luck." With that, she stalked out of my room. Now if only I could keep her out. It's no secret that Naru's the reason Keitaro left, but she wasn't the only reason. That's what really gets me. If only I was a little kinder or even a bit more understanding, Keitaro might have had a reason to stay, but no. I was a self-centered bitch that only cared about the good times and drinking my way through the bad. Who'd want to stay with me? Or who'd want to stay with either of us, they way we were or the way we are now. Yet, Keitaro stayed through all of it...

What was it that drove Keitaro over the edge like that? Back then, he really wanted to get back at Naru. She broke up with him. I guess that could be reason enough... but why would she break up with him? Sure, he's a little clumsy and not all that manly, but he's the type of person to be there when you really need him. Asking Naru seems to be the logical option. Would I get a straight answer out of her though? If only Keitaro was here... but what difference would it make? I didn't believe a word he said. A damn hypocrite is what I am, even after I said I'd believe in him. He's hurting right now because of me... I might not even get the chance to say sorry. Someone like me doesn't deserve forgiveness, but having this regret eating me alive won't help anyone... I think I deserve an explanation. Making sure if I made the right choice or not is the only way I'll, no we'll be able to move forward.

Tonight, I decided to round all of us together as an intervention of sorts. This will get ugly. A situation like this isn't going to get better over time, it'll only get much worse. Something'll have to give. It occurred to me that some of us we'll leave to get away from one another, but as long as we stay this course... we won't even have a reason to stay together. I won't let it happen - I can't let it happen.

"I know that all of you are hurting-" I start.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Naru interrupted.

"-but," I emphasize negating Naru's statement. "nothing is going to change if all of us can't even talk to each other. If you got something to say, then now's the time to say it. Either way, this free-for-all silent treatment is going to stop today."

Stillness rang throughout the room. Then Shinobu sprang up to her feet. "Who gave you the right to say that to me!" she shouted surprising everyone, especially me. "I can be cold to all of you if I want! You don't deserve anything less! I don't deserve anything less..." It looked like she'd break down into tears at any moment.

"Is that why you secluded yourself, Shinobu? So you wouldn't have any support like Keitaro?" Haruka interjected.

"Maybe. You'll never know. All I can do is wait for Keitaro to come back-"

"If he comes back." Sara doubted.

"No kidding." Suu added. That hurt. I don't want to be the bitch here but...

"Look, Keitaro isn't here right now, but we are." I stretch my arms out wide. Then point to myself. "I am."

"Lot good that will do." I hear a voice to my side.

"Mutsumi?" Naru acknowledged her first. "What're you doing here?"

"I came because Kitsune asked me too and to see you."

"Really? Because you haven't been talking to me at all lately." No one's been talking to lately, Naru.

"I didn't think you'd show up-"

"Spare me whatever you have to say." she cut me off. It sure isn't surprising. After all, we banished the only guy she'd ever marry. Still stings. She of all people exuded compassion, but it's obvious she is anything but right now. Mutsumi scanned the room and gave Naru the proverbial evil eye that's been all too common.

"You're not going to point the finger at me too, are you?" Naru asked.

"Why would I ever do that Naru, I'm your friend aren't I? Is there a reason why I should be mad at you? After all, you're my _best_ friend and you'd never do anything to intentionally hurt me, right? Even though you did get rid of my childhood friend that treated me with absolute kindness, for another man."

Mutsumi dropped one helluva a bomb shell. "I always knew you were a bitch, but I didn't know you were a cheater too." Naru's eyes locked on mine. "Oops, did I say that out loud?"

"Explain yourself, Naru!" Haruka roared.

"How could you?" Motoko seethed. She grabbed Naru by her shirt and slammed her against the wall. "You of all people hated men for being fickle! But you're no different!"

"Let go of me you abusive cutter!" Motoko's grip laxed a bit. "I know that you've crying in your room and cutting yourself to make yourself feel better! Well I'm not a self-hating suicidal maniac like you. I don't regret what I did. The man I have now is twice the man Keitaro will ever-" Mutsumi darted across the room and slapped Naru and Motoko across the face.

"I won't let you talk about the man I love like that. Neither will I tolerate you trying to kill yourself. Both of you are as much to blame for Keitaro leaving and you'll deal with the repercussions."

"Don't act so high and mighty Mutsumi, you knew what I was doing with Felix, but you didn't tell." Naru scoffed.

"You knew?" I screamed.

"Shut up Kitsune, don't you dare get angry at me! I didn't do anything wrong. My trust in Naru was misplaced. You have no right to criticize me. I'm not the one who stole from him!"

"Do you think that exempts you?" Shinobu debated. "Watching is just as bad as doing it."

"That's rich coming from you! All ever did was watch while Keitaro got hurt." Sara pointed out.

"It's not like you didn't participate." Suu declared.

"Oh yeah? Well how many of your experiments landed Keitaro in the middle of nowhere?"

"I didn't mean to hurt him, but clearly you did!"

"Suu, you can't expect us to believe you didn't know." Naru determined.

"Shut up you whore! At least we didn't break Keitaro's heart for all the world to see. Yeah, that's right. You think that I'm just a mechanical genius with a mentality of a child, but I heard what he said before he left." Tears welled up in her eyes.

"Suu..." Haruka cooed.

"Keitaro loved all of us, but he said you were special. You betrayed that love. You did. Not me. Not Shinobu. Not Sara. You! I wish you were dead!"

"That can be arranged."

"Kanako..." I acknowleged. The devil child of the Urashima family with a brother complex. Haven't seen her since she left with Granny Hina again. "Shit, is she hear with you?"

"Shut it, whore."

"Screw you, psycho brother complex goth! You come in here unannounced like an amazon with threats and insults. I won't stand for it, so you better start talking!"

"I don't answer to you. I got a call from an anonymous person about the state of the Hinata Apartments and it's vacant position as manager. None of you can imagine my infinite fury and incredible sense of loss when I got the call. I swore that I was going to maim every single one of you, but imagine when I got a letter from my beloved brother. Telling me not to do anything he wouldn't as a manager or friend."

"Oh, Keitaro..." Motoko sighed.

"Yes, he was a good man that all of you abused, accused, and used. I'm not my saintly brother I won't take filth like that unchallenged. Especially from you, Naru Narusegawa. To me, you're less than the dirt I walk on. Tremble in terror, because after I get my questions answered you'll wish you'd never stepped into my families lives."

That certainly sounded ominous enough, but do I get to rip off the real whore's head?


	12. Hell Didn't See This Coming

Chapter Ten: Hell Didn't See This Coming

"I know I said you should start at the bottom, but I didn't think the Duchess would take me seriously." Keitaro says to Kiara. "Come one, being a waitress isn't as bad as being a stripper."

"Are you kidding?" she yelled. "At least as a stripper I wouldn't get groped as much! They at least have enforcers in the strip clubs, you know."

Both of them have been going over this point for the past couple of weeks. Ever since the Duchess assigned them to their positions, it's been nothing but back and forth bickering. Kiara's to be a waitress and Keitaro a dishwasher. However, her position as a host comes with additional tasks that have not been talked about. All the customers are either high ranking crime bosses or somehow related to the Duchess. It goes without saying, she can't fight back. All of the other waitresses get the same treatment, but she's mostly the main target because she's still got a supple and tight body. Whereas the other hosts are almost twice her age, she's very young in comparison. The status as a Valkyrian Host is a post for choice aging whores or strippers that don't have the vigor to keep up with their original careers.

For Keitaro, the opposite is true. All men that start at the bottom of the heap have to work their way up the ladder before someone decides to take them under his or her wing. Some guys have been working for twenty years and still haven't been accepted into the inner circles of the underworld. Only a few have been able to keep up with the young guns that spring up every now and then. The job is grueling and unforgiving. Most newcomers quit by the first month, but there is always a wealth of replacements. Hence, never short on staff. The lucky ones get promoted to busboy. While the elite get to be sous-chefs and eventually head chefs. Since the position is usually overstaffed, it's much more realistic to look forward to being a gangster.

"I know, I know. I'm not blind darling. I'd beat the shit out of those assholes if I could..." Keitaro started. "But the Duchess is my boss now too. We have to grin and bear it for a while."

"I'm the one who's getting harassed-"

"And I told you I can't do anything about it! God Kiara-san, don't you think it's hard for me too? To watch that shit?"

"You're not a defenseless female."

"And you're not a pissed off protective male either."

Keitaro was emphatic about the protective part. Nothing is more infuriating than for him to watch a female get harassed and not being able to do anything. Especially a girlfriend. Even though he's realized that some of them don't need protection, he's still territorial. A side that Kiara is yet to see.

"Then do something!"

"You make it sound so easy. Look darling, if I waltz right into that room of mob bosses and start causing trouble, not only we'll I be out of a job, but I'll also be put on a hit list known by all of the gangs in this city!"

"Boo-hoo you self-centered jerk."

"If you want to bail, go ahead. I've got work to do."

"Fine then, you coward." Kiara stomps back into the dining hall. Keitaro was a coward. He's worked here a week and has been intimidated into submission. Although, to be brave in front of these menacing crime lords is asking for trouble. In terms of demeanor, these men are scarier when compared to the Duchess. Keitaro stares out through the pick-up window to catch a glimpse of today's customers. He shivers in dread. They have arms as thick as tree trunks, grimacing facial expressions, and an almost touchable threatening aura. It's hard for him to comprehend that all of them are subservient to the Duchess. Keitaro is loyal to his lady. Yet, for the life of him he doesn't know why. Perhaps it is the recollection of Duchess's glints of pure instilling fear or because she finds him interesting. All of his loyalty doesn't mean much when he holds Kiara in such high regard.

"Hey newbie, hurry up and dry those dishes! We gots to get this food out there pronto." said one of the assistant cooks.

"There all stacked right here, come here and get it." Keitaro answers, not even acknowledging the person who said it.

"I don't know where you come from and I really don't give a shit, but 'round here you better show some respect to your superiors."

Keitaro was peeved. He couldn't stand it when people talked down to him. As a former Tokyo University student, he still had his pride. "Wow, is that the most difficult word you know?"

"Fuck you-"

Keitaro spins around harshly. "No screw you, alright. Instead of being a freaking asshole and wasting time, why don't you get your ass over here and start preparing." The assistant cook didn't take kindly to Keitaro's tone. He walked right in his face.

"Ya only been here a week rookie and you thinking you own da place?" The cook winds up for a punch. Keitaro crouches on instinct as the chef releases. Missing, the cook loses his balance. Keitaro delivers an upper cut to the man's jaw, knocking him down and out. The staff needlessly jump between him and the downed chef. Two restrain Keitaro by the arms while others check on the cook.

"He's out." said the head chef. He smacked the guy for good measure. "Can't say he didn't deserve it though. Nice moves there rookie."

"I was only defending myself." Keitaro shrugs off the staff. "It's not like I was going for blood."

"Whatever, I'll call security to get this guy out of here. He's no use to me unconscious." The head chef goes ahead with the call. Keitaro returns to his station to get back to work, but he winces as he tries to grab a plate.

"Shit." He never experienced the impact of striking before now. Was this how Naru and Motoko felt when they hit him all those times. He doubted it, no one would voluntarily try to feel this way. The throbbing in his hand was bittersweet. At least he got to take out his frustrations out on somebody that can't fight back. His show of force was just a drop of a well of primal fury that swelled with every aggravating annoyance.

One of the effects at the Hinata Apartments was not having the ability to fight back. Keitaro would always have to walk from wherever the hell he landed, exhausting most of his willpower by the time he came back home. Even when he was at home he was fixing something or studying. Also, all of his antagonists were girls. Perhaps, another item added to the list of why he left. He couldn't express his feelings as openly.

"Jesus, what happened to him?" Kiara staggered.

"I knocked him out." Keitaro said nonchalantly looking back as his handy work.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because he pissed me off alright." Keitaro explained.

"Oh, so when someone pisses you off, you do something. But when someone pisses me off, I can't do jack shit."

"It's different."

"How is it different?"

"Darling, you know things are different for a man and a women. It isn't right and it isn't fair. But that's the reality you have to deal with."

"I beg to differ." the Duchess walked through the kitchen doors causing all the staff bowed in unison.

"My lady." Keitaro dropped down to one knee like a knight of old.

"As you were." She waved off. Kiara whisked out of the culinary. Keitaro moved to stand. "Except you, Sir Galahad. Keep your eyes on the floor. I hear that you scuffled with one of my cooks, explain yourself."

"I was defending myself, Duchess. He attempted to do me harm and I retaliated."

"By rattling his brain to the point of unconsciousness? Surely you could have held back."

"I was drilled to incapacitate any opponent who tries to do me harm." He didn't mention as long as it wasn't a women. That bit could land him in the Duchess's dog house, right now he's at the doggy door for sure.

"And what if it was me?"

"My intention is to always be loyal to you. If I have done anything to offend or dishonor you, I welcome my lady's punishment."

"Such noble words can only be enforced by the strong." Keitaro closed his eyes, bracing himself for some sort of continuation either physical or verbal. But it never came. The Duchess's heart skipped a beat. Keitaro's little speech affected her mind more than it should have. She tightened her fist to tighten the reins on her emotions. "You shall come to me after tonight's dining session." The Duchess turned heel and entered the dining hall in the same instance Keitaro looked up in disbelief.

"That certainly wasn't expected." he said to himself. Kiara practically burst through the double doors.

"You're still standing?" she said in a disappointed tone.

"Were you expecting something different?"

"Well, not for nothing, but she looked like she was going to do something that wasn't pretty."

"As you can I'm fine, darling. I got some good news too. Tonight's when I finally get to talk to the Duchess."

"Yeah, I heard."

"Eavesdropping is a bad habit that can get you in trouble."

"How come you always talk like a bloody English noble in front of her?"

Keitaro chuckled. "Do I really sound like that?"

"You talk so proper that it hurts my ears." she said in a British accent.

"She's a lady. Just think of it as me being able to speak a second language. I really don't have a better explanation than that."

"I think it's just your upbringing showing." She teased.

"Hey, Newgirl get your ass out here!" shouted a waitress.

"Better get to work darling. Think of it as your last day here and do your best out there."

"Does that mean I can tell them all to fuck off?"

"No! Remember, we're still living here." Kiara did made an unlady like snort and walked off.

"Do I really talk condescendingly?" Keitaro addressed to himself. The thought disappeared into the murky dish water. As he kept his focus solely on the Duchess.

* * *

So, another chapter has been submitted. I'd like to thank all of the fans out there who are still reading and reviewing. I just want to make it official; it has always been implied that you the reader, can write whatever you think of this fanfiction. Right now I am asking for your input; what do you think of the story? In the context of predictions, suggestions, do you want me to stick only to first person POV? I'd love to hear where you think the story is headed or where you'd like it to go. Again, thank for putting up with this continuous fanfic. I will probably be rating this as Mature (M) for future reference.

Oh, and it has been brought to my attention that I may have had a small inconsistency. Think of chapter 8 as a huge flashforward and the chapters following are the present. ~Yuelyn the Vampire

fe769eb3-79ec-4899-9b40-6c751f535371

1.03.01


	13. The Damned and the Divine

Chapter Eleven: The Damned and the Divine

"Um, nice place you got here..." Keitaro trailed off as he looked around the Duchess's place of work. It had a gothic presence, not quite like the gaudy and popular designs of today where everything is encompassed in black, but rather like a cathedral. As he moved further in, Keitaro took notice of the chandeliers overhead, the Princeton orange light dazzled within the crystal shards. Three hanged in the shape of a triangle and in the center point erected a column, like the White House in D.C. From that midpoint, was the outline of diagonals that had the gothic cross in each square, which stood about half a yard away from the ceiling. Giving an impression much like a cage, it was secured by four arches which were fasted at the corners of the room. All of it looked like it was made out marble.

On the right side, the design continued to spread all across the right wall. At the core was a fireplace, already occupied by a blaze and fueled by wooden logs. Looking to the left, Keitaro saw two parallel wooden cabinets filled with books, probably records. And at the back of the room were two stained glassed windows, none which you could see through clearly. In front was a large desk and chair that looked fit for a king, or queen in this case. The Duchess sat in it.

"Go ahead and leave the room, John. I have some private things to discuss with my employee." she commanded. The big burly man left with a bow and closed the doors, which were made out of some kind of metal. Making it stand out in the rest of the room. "It's a bulletproof door, obviously."

"Of course, obviously." Keitaro added.

"Have you gotten used to your position, Sir Galahad?" she inquired.

"I'd appreciate if you'd stop calling me that and yes. Cleaning up after others is a specialty of mine." Being the manager of an all bitches dorm taught Keitaro to be accountable. He had to do all the household tasks or be subject to some cruel and unusual punishment, but either way he had to do it. Didn't take much for him to get motivated.

"I certainly never thought about the job that way. That's why I like you Galahad. You give new perspective to things."

"My pleasure, but about Kiara-"

"What about the kitty?"

"I'm not sure if you've noticed, but a lot of our customers can't keep their hands to themselves. So, I was wondering if you could do something about it." After all, he couldn't afford to keep punching the assistant cooks. No matter how much better it made him feel.

"How boring," she lays her folded hands on the desk "after all this time you want to talk about her?"

"I wouldn't be if this weren't serious."

"Oh?"

"Its sexual harassment-" Keitaro's tone rose. How dare she render Kiara's situation as insignificant? Being put in a delicate situation with no way out was something he was very partial too. But, getting angry wasn't going to help his case. So he slowed his pace by taking in quick, short breaths. "I thought you would least have some semblance of outrage."

"Why would I be outraged? This is an opportunity for her to rise up in the world and-"

"Wait, you knew about this?" That was it, the anger came out.

"Do you take me for a pampered princess, Galahad? Of course I know about it."

"And you didn't do anything?" Keitaro paced back and forth across the room. Keeping his eyes on anything that wasn't on the Duchess, helped him a little.

"Do not take that tone with me, Keitaro." her eyes sparked with intensity. "I think you've misinterpreted my charity."

"Charity? By throwing Kiara into a pack of ravenous wolves?"

"Yes, if Kiara gets picked up by one of those men, her debt will be cleared."

"How is that a good thing? She'll just be subjected to another life of servitude with in worse conditions! I thought you said she could pay off her debt with honest work." he reminded her.

"She is, but if she gets chosen by one of the people in my circle then it's out of my hands."

Out of your hands my ass. "Don't you care about what happens to her?"

"I am a business woman, not a saint." Keitaro stopped pacing and locked his eyes. The Duchess looked only with composure. He folded his arms around his chest and sighed.

"Exactly how much money does she owe you?" Keitaro questioned through his teeth. If she pays off her loan it would get Kiara back on track. Wherever that is.

"Offhand, about a thousand, but if you incorporate interest thirty-five hundred."

"Unbelievable, the interest alone is more than the actual debt."

"Five hundred each month the debt is not paid."

"She hasn't paid anything in five months?" Keitaro was skeptical. Kiara wasn't able to find any work in five months? Well, she did just try to rob him. Desperate people will do stupid things. In spite of everything, he could relate. Bearing his soul to a woman that thought of him as pet, crushed it to the point where it was unrecognizable. He wouldn't let anyone get that close again.

"Three actually."

"But that doesn't make sense. She should only owe you

twenty-five hundred then."

"Soon it will be the fourth month and the interest doubles after the grace period." How could he forget that he was dealing with the queen of the underworld.

"Are you that set on making a profit? At this rate, she'll never be free!"

"Unless someone pays for her."

"This isn't right. You can't do this!" She shouldn't be able to this. It needed to be said.

"Of course I can, it's my city." Keitaro was seething. He just couldn't win. This woman is the judge and jury. No one can question her, but there had to be some way to free Kiara from the Duchess's grasp. Trying to get her out of the city without paying would get them both killed.

"How much of her debt does she clear each month?"

"Nothing really, she can't pay it off without extra income."

"How much?" Keitaro repeated.

"Around two hundred fifty, not that it makes a difference." Of course it makes a difference, but Keitaro isn't stupid enough to say that out loud.

"I guess I should've asked this before, but how much am I getting paid to do my job?"

"Are you asking for a raise?" She arched any eyebrow.

"No, but it I do have to make a living too. Makes me wonder if I need to get a second job."

"Nonsense, I'm paying for your room." That was nice, but didn't change much about what Keitaro thought of the Duchess.

"Kiara too?"

"In a sense. Why are you asking such inconsequential questions?"

"Just making sure I have my bases covered, I am a realist after all." Having run the Hinata Apartments without making a profit taught Keitaro how to live efficiently as possible. Even if he had to live on bread crusts and water.

"Good to know."

"So, back to the original question, how much am I making?"

"Eight hundred."

"Ouch, I think I will need a second job. Do you have any openings?"

"Enough of your jokes, Galahad. I choose where you work and where you live. Just accept that fact and life will be much easier for you. You make as much as I allow and what I allow is what you can only have. Don't be foolish enough to ask for more."

"Are you declaring that if I were to work harder, I wouldn't be obliged to more monetary rewards? After all, nothing is keeping me from seeking employment elsewhere."

"I will have you blacklisted. You'll have no choice but to return to me."

"Who says it has to be in this city?"

"Are you threatening me?"

"No, of course not," Keitaro says sarcastically. "How can I? I'm nothing more than a humble working man. All I am asking for is a fair opportunity to rise in this world. Money does make the world go round."

"Is that all? What're you planning on buying, an Aston Martin?"

"Well, something along those lines. The name alone does bring attention."

"Men would kill for extravagant things like that and it is quite out of your budget. How can you even conceive a half million dollar car?"

"Are you calling my dream absurd, my lady? Before you ask why I am such a money driven man consider this. For the last few years of my life, I have never once done a single thing for myself. Every action I took was for the benefit of another at my expense. I think it's high time that I start working for myself, wouldn't you agree?" It's not like everything he said is a lie. But he wasn't this for him. He was doing this for a girl in who got caught up in a mess that could end her life.

The Duchess sighed. She may have misjudged this man. He wasn't any different than the filth that crawled beneath her heels. And she was so looking forward to teaching him... "If that is what you desire, far be it from to me to keep you. You could be my gofer. Doing odd jobs at my whim. Would this be acceptable to you?"

"When do I start?"


	14. Crawling in the Dark

Chapter Twelve: Crawling in the Dark

"Where the hell is he?" Kiara asked herself for the umpteenth time. It's nearly 8 o'clock and Keitaro still hasn't come back. She hasn't seen him since he left with the Duchess. That was around midnight. You'd think he'd at least have the brains to tell her he was going to be late. Kiara couldn't help but think something bad happened to him. It was just so unlike him to be gone.

Since the few weeks she's lived with him, he always went home together with her. At first, she thought it was because he didn't trust her. But he'd always say, "I want to make sure your safe." Oddly, _it did_ make her feel safe. She was free from worry whenever Keitaro was with her. He was her safety net. That's what scared her.

She doesn't want to really on him, but she has been since he entered her life. Keitaro's fighting for her. No one's ever done that before. She's been together with a few guys and all of them wanted one thing for her - to fuck. But he didn't. He rejected her the moment she brought up the idea of sex. It shocked her. She first thought he was gay because the alternative never occurred in to her. Noble knights didn't exist in her world. That's why she liked him... at least she hoped so. Because she doesn't believe in a thing called love.

Just as she was heading back into her room, Keitaro walked through the door. "Oh, hello darling. Aren't you up early today?"

Kiara was incredulous. She wasn't sure if she should be jumping for joy or screaming her lungs out. "You look like shit." Well, that sounded more critical than she meant.

Keitaro just cackled. He quickly swept into her personal space and cupped her face in his hands. "You have no idea, sweetheart." Kiara was petrified. Not only because of his sudden change in behavior, but because of the way he looked at her... so closely. So intimately... "Tonight, everything that I am was challenged. Everything that I believed about love was laughed at. I need to know that I wasn't wrong."

"What're you-" Before she realized it, Keitaro was kissing her. The sudden intimate contact forced her to pull away, only breaking for a brief moment, making him hold harder. His hands were securely fasted on her soft, delicate cheeks. The drawn contact of mouth-to-mouth sent rushes of heat all over her skin, especially her face.

Then the ember became an inferno, as he fastened his mouth to hers, forcing her to let his tongue meld with hers. Swirling together in a demanding desire to get closer, his hands searched under her shirt, wrapping his arms above her waist. She in turn folded her arms around his neck, responding to the need to be close. She couldn't stop this even if she wanted to. This moment of passion dominated her, making her forget the loneliness of being abandoned by Ach.

She reached and stood on her toes, compelling him to caress her ass. He lifted her up into him, forcing her to clench her legs securely around his waist. She felt the pumping of his heart, took satisfaction in the honesty of his body. Her own body reaching unfathomable warmth, the dampness between her legs already showed signs of arousal.

As if reading her mind, he moved them into the bedroom. Laying her out on the sheets, he raised her shirt to reveal the curve of her breasts, tips erect. He bent his head down and gave a slow lick to her right breast. A squeak escaped her. Kiara couldn't have been more embarrassed. She didn't want him to think she was totally innocent; she grabbed the fabric of his shirt, slipping it off him. She glimpsed at the multiple scars that adorned his chest and stomach.

Keitaro just continued by teasing her nipples with slight pinches, sending shocks of pleasure to her clit. He plumped the left breast this time and took it into his mouth. Kiara let out an aria of pleasures moans, she gripped the material under her to control the exhilaration. He trailed his hand along her side, down into the fabric of her denim. Finding the crotch of her panties, he teased her clit with the palm of his hand, making her arch toward it.

With the hook of his hands, he slowly pulled off her pants. A long caress that never broke contact till it slid off her toes. He spread her legs, just enough to let him get a taste of her. A slight bite over her clit sparked her desire to new heights. His tongue delved in so deeply in to her, she felt like she was being fucked by it. She reached to the pinnacle and reached an orgasm that made her cry out. The receding gratification made her body shiver deliciously.

Keitaro sighed in relief. Kiara looked at him through heavy lidded eyes. "Why did you stop?"

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her forehead. "Because I can." With that, Kiara drifted into slumber that escaped from her before.

Unfortunately for Keitaro, he was fully awake with a hard on, but his mind was fairly clear now. He felt bad that he used Kiara for his own peace of mind. He had to though, the demons that invaded his mind threatened to overwhelm his honor.

How could people degrade themselves so low? The Duchess made him watch as men and woman fucked each other like dogs in heat. No love, no affection... a sacred rite, violated. Seeing and knowing about were two completely different things. The horror of it was like a hot iron that scorched the back of his mind. Daughters and mothers that sold themselves for sex; it was disgusting. The worse thing was, he couldn't do anything about it... he had to condone it. He wanted to save them from a life that ripped their souls to nothing. But most of all, he wanted to keep Kiara from going there... to protect her from all that was evil in this world. Tonight, he had to be sure that his girl was still worth saving, because she was the only thing that was saving him.


	15. Kiss of Memory

Chapter Thirteen: Kiss of Memory

What is love? It's when two people come together and can't live without each other. Being intimate is how they show their love. At least that's the way Keitaro looked at it. Knowing people out there who do it for money is disheartening. Seeing with one's own eyes is devastating. To see girls being nothing more than sex slaves... It's hard to comprehend their worth after being reduced to such a degree. As a man you can't deny the attraction to women like that, but it's sad knowing they can't amount to anything. Is that how people look at Kiara? She slept with other guys, but never for money. Could he accept a woman like that?

He'd never have a go at it with such base intentions. The one person he'd commit himself to would get his love... if she wanted it. Forcing someone has no meaning. That's why Keitaro stopped with Kiara. He knows how people can use it as a means of control. Naru did. The woman he chose out of all the other girls manipulated him for her own delight. She taunted him. Used his pure love and twisted it only to sell him an utter lie. By the time he finally got tired of the same lines she told, she was done with him. Better late than never, in a matter of speaking... Loving her caused him to change to the point it hurt just to be around her. She had expectations that he fell short of. Making her bitter, lashing out at things he did or didn't do. She made it hard to love her, it was embarrassing to show affection because she would just laugh in his face. The anger would steadily build up. Until it came out in a rush of violence and screams, leaving an atmosphere of uneasiness which forced him to avoid her. But that would only lead to a much larger confrontation, repeating the cycle...

Anyway how was he going to explain his actions when he woke up? That he was horny and needed to ease some of the tensions in his mind? She probably heard that before. It's not like it's a total lie, he just isn't telling her everything that happened with his second job. The odd job the Duchess had him doing was really on the sleazy side of the underworld. Making him sit and watch while the miracle of life was being reduced to a degrading feature for the world to see. It was almost like she was trying to break him...

_ "Look Keitaro, as she takes his cock into her mouth. Amazing isn't it? How he pounds himself to the back of her throat." she commented._

_ "I'd rather not watch." he said while looking away._

_ The Duchess seized his chin, "Look, boy. Because this is what I can reduce you to, a sex slave." _

_ A chill went through every fiber of his body. In his mind, Keitaro fought with the notion. For a second he considered it... right before he gave himself a mental cold shower. "I'm sure I could be more useful to you. There are dozens of men that would be much more willing... and very few who would pledge allegiance to you. I would never do anything to damage your reputation."_

_ "I doubt that very much." She released her hold. "You'd sell your soul to the devil for a pocket of riches."_

_ "And yet here I am trying to live an honest life in an untrue world, how ironic." Keitaro sighed._

_ "Or moronic." The Duchess's complete attention was on the sex scene in front of her. _

_ "Resorting to malefaction has never been my strong point. Unfortunately, I'm a born honest man."_

_ "I'm sure you've never told a lie in your life." _

_ "I'm only human. I can't be perfect all the time." For Keitaro, he saw it as his major flaw. If he could always rein in the negative emotions, he'd never would've left the Hinata Apartments. But he did feel those emotions, all too regularly. _

_ "Proving my point, you'd do anything for your own benefit."_

_ "I'd ask what I can do to prove my loyalty, but in this environment you'd ask me to perform."_

_ "Don't pretend to know what I am thinking, servant. Presumptions can easily be torn apart." She lightly scratched Keitaro's forearm with her long, polished fingernails. Establishing the fact she'd do it herself._

_ "Than what would you have me do?"_

_ "Perhaps if you'd lay with me once..." Keitaro gave a hard look. But it did not stop him from imagining the Duchess under him. The golden strands laid out as if she were floating on water. Her starlit eyes beaming in contrast with her gorgeous skin..._

_ "Please don't tempt me, my lady. You cannot possibly mean that."_

_ "Why ever not? Sexual submission is the ultimate leap of faith. Being able to anything to your partner is a powerful thing. Pain can become pleasure."_

_ "When does the pain stop and the pleasure begins? Hurting your loved one only means you cannot control your desire. Or doing it methodically makes you a sadist." Keitaro's voice slightly rose unintentionally._

_ "You've never been with a woman who can closely bind the two."_

_ "Would you willingly hurt me while I tried to love you?"_

_ "Is that a yes?" the Duchess invited him, moving to stand right in front of him and letting her breasts touch him. Her attention was still on the couple._

_ "I've been hurt many times from malice. Suddenly believing it can be enjoyable is ludicrous." Keitaro moved into the corner of the room, trying to suppress his urge to hold her._

_ The Duchess just followed and laid her hands on his back. "Only because you never went beyond that forbidden veil." _

_ "Nor have I ever crossed into the sacred union."_

_ "Preposterous."_

_ "Lying serves me no purpose. Boasting about one's conquest would be the norm. Never have I touched a woman intimately... no matter how much I wish it weren't so."_

_ "You've been close?" She hooked her arms under his and set her hands on his chest, resting her head on the back of his neck. Forcing him to notice her._

_ "Not in the sexual sense. Loving her wasn't enough... and she never loved me back anyway. My love was much more childish... I just wanted her to be with me, all the time. That would've been enough. But she never wanted to be near me, even with all our friends. There would be times I could have her all to myself and be friendly. That was all it was though, all it ever was. A common relationship between friends."_

_ "And you wanted marriage." She whispered into his ear._

_ "Not right away. On the contrary, I wanted to be sure that she was the one. Time is always the deciding factor in a successful relationship... and it showed we weren't meant to be. She turned out to be an angry and abuse person, which is why I don't believe that pain can heighten the pleasance of love making." Keitaro grabbed her hands, set it to his sides, and turned around to face her._

_ "Well, who could deny you your aversion to pain. Everyone does. But, you don't know the closeness that can arise from it." She argued._

_ "Be that as it may, I have told you a portion of my past that I wish to bury... as my way of showing loyalty to you."_

_ "You devil... your story was nothing more than a ploy to win me over."_

_ "Believe what you want to believe, my lady."_

With that remark, the Duchess left it that. She ordered him to always be ready. When the time came she would assign him to do things for her. Keitaro asked how much he would get paid. _"The work shall match the wage."_ she flatly stated. After, he still had to review different recordings. For what, he wasn't sure. The Duchess just instructed him to write down anything he found unusual. Problem was he found almost _everything_ unusual. Even more troublesome was his manroot wanted to get some action. When his shift was done, he went straight home and Kiara just had to come out. He couldn't think, he just reacted. But when she climaxed, he stopped himself. Reminding himself that there was something more fulfilling than pleasure and he would wait for eternity until the woman who promised him love would appear.


	16. Alternusa Procer Rosa

Alternusa: Procer Rosa

_The day after Kanako appeared..._

Motoko was sitting quietly in her futon. She read Keitaro's letter over and over again.

_Dear Motoko,_

_ If you're reading this, it means that I'm no longer at the Hinata Apartments. I'm sure you don't have to guess why I left... you treated me with spite because I am a man and I can't change that. I tried so hard to gain your approval, but no matter what I did you'd always belittle my efforts. It hurt... more than you can imagine. _

_ Let me just say that I cared for you, but that being said... I hated you at times. You became the type of person you hated. How would you like it if someone screamed at you all the time because you were born? If someone beat you because of an accident? Or if they would never listen you your side of the story?_

_ I found my answer... and I can't live with that kind of person. I can't place the blame entirely on you and I'm sure you know who I'm talking about. Hopefully, you realize that for yourself someday..._

_Goodbye forever,_

_Keitaro Urashima_

"Keitaro, your voice of my memory haunts me as if you'd said these words to me." Motoko thought. She realized what kind of a person she had become. Keitaro was nothing like she thought he could've been and she was everything she wished she'd never be. The swordswoman hated herself. So much so that she tried to take her own life in repentance. Scars were visible in rows. The soft skin under her wrists were now a wasteland of disfigured self-mutilation. The numbness was maddening. She wanted to feel the excruciating suffering he had to go though. But she was weak. She could never impale her own heart, the thought terrified her too much to ever go through with it. She didn't fear death, she was scared of the pain. The memories of her training was enough to bring her to her knees. How could she even fathom a blade piercing though her body?

Motoko clenched her fists over her sheathed sword. The channel that caused this misery was in her hands... a heavy sound echoed inside her room, it died down when the thrown weapon settled down. But she knew it was her strength that caused so much pain...

She looked at the calendar. It's been nearly a month since he's left and they're well into the autumn season. How was he doing? Is he taking care of his health? Did he even have a way of coming back home if he wanted? All of her questions came with more questions and anxiety. She's been waiting. Waiting to know if he's alright and if he'll return.

"I need you!" she cried. "When I needed a shoulder to cry on, you held my hands, and held me tight. I can't go on without you... I can only replay the day you left with a smile on your face. You were smiling... even when you were wracked with so much pain. All I could do was try and numb my own. You ran away... from me! Because of me... the thought of you brings me to my knees... and I've been pushed beyond the point of breaking! I just don't know what to do... without you we're nothing... I'm nothing! I'm no use to anyone, to our friends, my family, and even myself... My tears dry without you... life goes on, but I'm trapped in time without you."

The sound of clapping causes Motoko to look at Kanako in the doorway. "That was a heart-breaking confession. Almost enough to make me puke."

Normally, Motoko wouldn't let a challenge like that go unmatched, but she was tired and restless. "Is there something you needed from me, Kanako?"

"Nothing really, I just wanted to tell you that the bitch whore left this morning."

"I don't care about her anymore." Motoko said dryly. "She could go and lend herself to all the men in Japan for all I care."

"Well, that would be something to tell my brother." That caught Motoko's attention.

"You found him?"

"What do you care? Your one of the bitches that wanted him out of here." This time Motoko stood up with fury. "What? You wanna fight?" Kanako walked right up in Motoko's face. "I'll beat your ass so bad your family's gonna need a new heir."

Motoko threw a punch. Kanako easily grabbed her wrist and threw her to the ground. Kanako didn't let go. She just stomped Motoko in the back while pulling her arm, making Motoko seethe in pain. "Your way off, kendo-girl. You know, I could just kill you right now and call it self-defense. But I'm in a good mood right now, so thank whatever gods you worship." Kanako slammed Motoko's arm for good measure, making Motoko cradle it under her body. "When I find my brother, you'll be long gone by then."

"I won't be." Motoko uttered.

"Really?" Kanako just turned her head in amusement.

"Any pain I feel is nothing compared to what Keitaro felt. So I'll endure anything you direct at me and still be here until he returns."

"We'll see." Kanako said coldly. "Don't expect to live in a comfortable environment, Motoko. Because I'll make sure to make your stay a living hell." She slammed the sliding door and walked away.

Motoko laughed and cried at the same time. Laughing because she'll have to go through an ordeal that was much more daunting than Keitaro's time at the Hinata Apartments. A chance to feel her redemption. Crying because what small hope she had, faded with the shutting of her door. The news about Naru was minor in comparison. But her friendship with Naru began to twist into hate long before Motoko found out about her infidelity...

_Motoko had slept a little bit earlier that day and found herself unable to get back to sleep. She went downstairs to make herself some tea, hoping it would soothe her. Instead she found Keitaro laying his head down on the dining._

_ "Keitaro?" she said. He was unresponsive. "Keitaro." she shook him._

_ "Huh?" he said groggily. "Motoko?"_

_ "Did you expect someone else?_

_ "Yeah," he answered while scratching his head. "I've been waiting for Naru to come back. What time is it?"_

_ "Almost one. It's strange that she isn't back yet."_

_ "Not as strange as you'd think." Keitaro stood up and stretched out his neck. "Thanks for waking me up. I would've had another sore neck this week, but what are you doing here so late?"_

_ "I couldn't sleep. So I thought some hot tea would help, but you make it sound like Naru's always late. She's always there for breakfast."_

_ "That's because she comes back early in the morning. Haven't you noticed that she's always at the table first?" _

_ Motoko did. Especially since Naru was usually one of last people to make it to the table, besides Kitsune and sometimes Haruka. But she didn't want to admit it to Keitaro. She felt like she was underminding Naru in a way. "Maybe she's changed her habits."_

_ "Or she's spending time at someone's else's place."_

_ "I don't like what your insinuating, Keitaro." As she took offense._

_ "Of course you would because whenever I come late, your one of the first people to point it out. But when it comes to Naru, she can't do no wrong."_

_ "That's because Naru's trustworthy."_

_ "And I'm not? Whatever did I do to deserve such scrutiny?"_

_ "You have a bad habit of running away."_

_ "This is coming from you?" Keitaro raised his voice. "You ran away from your family because you couldn't handle the pressure of being the next heir!"_

_ Before she realized it, Motoko had slapped him. "I'm nothing like you! What do you know about duty or expectations? You've been a failure all your life!" Motoko instantly regretted what she said. Keitaro's eyes filled with tears. But her pride as a woman refused to apologize_

_ "Your right," he said in sobs. "I am a failure. No matter how much effort I put into anything, I always come up short. But I never expect to hear those words from you. I thought you... never mind." Keitaro just rushed up the stairs into his room._

_ Motoko sat down in Keitaro's vacated seat. She still felt a sting in her hand from slapping him. The sensation of hurting him left her with a bitter taste. She asked herself why she always ended up hurting him in some way... but why did he have to say it like that? Her succession was always a sore spot to talk about. But she wasn't any better by calling him a failure. At least he was brave enough to admit his faults. "I'm a hypocrite." she whispered. It went against every fiber of her being, but she wanted to apologize._

_ Motoko walked up to Keitaro's room and entered. She found Keitaro already wrapped up in his futon. She thought to wake him up, but decided against it. She would talk to him in the morning..._

_ Motoko stood vigilant, trying to catch Keitaro before everyone else. A few hours later, Keitaro came out._

_ "Good morning, Keitaro." she greeted._

_ "Whoa! Where did you come from?" Keitaro said surprisingly._

_ "You don't have to be so dramatic." she was a little hurt by the fact._

_ "Did you need something?"_

_ "About last night-"_

_ "I really don't want to talk about it. If you don't mind, I'm in a hurry." Keitaro tried to walk past her, but Motoko just blocked his way._

_ "I need to talk to you."_

_ "Now's really not a good time, Motoko." But she didn't budge. "Didn't you get your revenge last night? If you're here for an apology I'm sorry. Now can you please move?"_

_ "I don't want your apology."_

_ "Then what do you want?" Keitaro screamed. Without realizing it, she knocked him down._

_ "What's going on here?" said Naru. Motoko turned to Naru, who looked she just came back from a night out._

_ "Nothing." Motoko just shut Keitaro's door._

_ "It didn't sound like nothing. I heard Keitaro's voice from the bottom of the stairs. Did he do something to you, Motoko? Because I can-"_

_ "No really, nothing happened." Motoko was trying to cover for Keitaro out of guilt. Again, she resorted to violence. The least she could do was keep Naru from sending him to the moon._

_ "If you say so."_

_ "What about you, Naru? Did you just get back?"_

_ "No, of course not. I'm just going out for a walk." Motoko knew that was a lie just from the clothes Naru was wearing, but she didn't mention that._

_ "Good, exercise always invigorates you for the rest of the day."_

_ "Yeah, um, I'll be going now." When Naru was out of her sight, she opened Keitaro's door, who was still on the ground._

_ "Why would Naru lie like that?" Motoko questioned. Keitaro didn't answer, he just laid there like a rag doll. "Fine, I don't really care anyway."_

_ "Because she's cheating on me." That made Motoko stop midstride. She looked back to see Keitaro on his feet. "A few times a week, Naru stays over and comes back."_

_ "That's the best you could come up with?"_

_ "Believe what you want to believe. But the evidence is pretty clear."_

_ Motoko didn't want to hear another word. "Men cheat, women are always the one's who're cheated on." After that, she just returned to her room and snuggled into her bed. She tried to rationalize Naru's tardiness by writing it off as personal business..._

But now she knew the truth. And it was too late to change anything. For the rest of her life, she would have to live with the fact she chose Naru's side because of prejudice, instead of Keitaro's.


	17. May the Past Forever Burn

Chapter Fourteen: Let the Past Forever Burn

Keitaro walked into the bathroom to splash water on his face. He'd thought about leaving countless times. Every emotion he was feeling robbed the sleep he needed. But the anxiety was what mostly kept him up. He couldn't help but think Kiara would only think the worst of him. He dried himself off only to find her awake.

"Have trouble sleeping?" She was laying on her side, completely exposed.

He gave her a smile. "Cover up sweetheart. I'm not putting my hands on you anytime soon. It's principle."

She sighed. "You didn't have to stop you know."

Of course he did. He broke one of his own rules by touching her. But God was she soft. Her response really surprised him when she kissed back. He was expecting a slap across the face not an invitation.

"Sorry about last night. I wasn't thinking straight."

"Obviously," she snorted. "or else you would've finished what you started."

"I shouldn't have started anything."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Keitaro didn't miss the hurt in her voice. He sat in front of her legs. "You know how I feel about sex."

"That didn't stop you last night."

He slipped the cover over her. The temptation was too frustrating and annoying. "I know. It's hypocritical of me. Trust me sticking to my guns isn't always easy."

"Then why do you?" She was looking at the floor now, away from him.

"Because someone has to take the high road. If everyone did everything on impulse, we'd be living in a more chaotic world."

"Don't you get tired of it? Of being a goody-two-shoes?"

She wouldn't understand. He has enough regrets as it is. What if he did have sex with her? What then? It's not like it could be a one night stand he's heard so much about from Kitsune. They live together and he didn't want to risk the harmony have with each other. But he knows this isn't something that'll simply go away. He sifted his fingers though her silky russet hair.

"I am who I am. Just because I'm living in Pandemonium doesn't mean I'll change. What about you darling? Did you change when you moved here?"

"Not really."

What a simple answer. Keitaro thought about how a girl as beautiful as this wanted a life like this.

"What's your dream sweetheart?"

"Really, you're gonna ask me that?"

Keitaro ignored her bitterness. "Mine was to attend Tokyo University and fulfill a lifelong promise of finding true love."

Kiara looked at him now.

"You see, when I was about 5 I made a promise with a girl I liked at that time. She told me that if a couple makes a promise to attend Tokyo U together, they'd find true happiness. The sad thing was I couldn't remember her name or what she looked like. I never saw her after that day. But I still held onto that promise. People laughed at my dream and at times I thought I should just give up. When I finally had the chance to prove them all wrong, I failed twice."

"How come? You're the smartest guy I know."

"It's a long story, but let's just say I didn't balance out studying and stopping to smell the roses. Anyway I got kicked out of the house after that. It's not like I could blame them. Taking the entrance exam was expensive. But it still hurt."

"You're so spoiled." she stood up, her legs pressed against her chest. "At least you had parents that supported you at all. I knew my bastard of a dad would kick me out as soon as I hit 18. And look where I am because of it."

That definitely was a starting point. "So why'd you come here?"

"It didn't have to be here. I could've ended up anywhere really. Getting away from my dad was the only thing on my mind. Before I ended up on the streets alone, I grabbed Ach and told him to leave that town with me. I was already working part-time so cash wasn't really a problem. We went to the nearest train station and decided get off at the last stop."

Keitaro thought that was odd. There weren't any trains going in and out of this city. He didn't remember much in those three days he took to getting here, but living here for a while made him attuned to certain things. "Where did you end up?"

"I don't remember the name of it, but it was a pretty small town. We couldn't find a stable job. Then we saw an ad posted about a good paying job a few towns over."  
"Here?"

Kiara groaned. "We took a cab to get here, but the guy would only take us to the edge of town. Walking around, I thought we were in the ghetto. Ach wanted to go back, but it cost a shit load just to get here. We at least had to make back the money we lost. The place that was hiring closed down. We tried working in a bar together, but we'd always get fired because Ach couldn't keep his mouth shut. We were getting desperate."

"Why did you get fired? It sounds like you didn't do anything wrong."

"If I wasn't on Ach's side, he'd of left me and I didn't want to be alone in this shit hole."

"But you basically did everything!" Keitaro didn't notice he raised voice. But Kiara's predicament was too much like his own. He didn't necessarily depend on the girls. Them being there was a comfort because he never felt alone... at least until they started to hate him.

Kiara shrugged. "I'm used to it. Anyway, money was tight and all my savings were spent. I wanted to get a loan, but no one would. That is until I met the Duchess. She told me that'd she'd lend me the money and somehow, someway I was going to pay it back. We we're okay for a little while, but we had no way of paying it back. That's when Ach started to steal."

"And how you ended up inside my room." he smirked.

"So it goes..."

"There's still something you're not telling me. Why'd Ach ditch you that night?"

"He just wanted to get out... out of this town, out the loan, and away from me. He told me that I was the one who ruined his life."

"Darling, you seriously can't believe that. From what you told me he wouldn't be anything without you. Besides you have me now." he gloated. Keitaro wasn't sure why he said that, but comforting her was his main concern. What utter irony! He wanted to be supported and here he is the one doing the supporting.

"But I don't have you. At least not the way I want."

"And how do you want me sweetheart?" he asked.

"As a lover."

Keitaro sighed. "I'm telling you right now that won't happen right away. For me I need to know you a lot longer. I knew a girl for a year before we started dating and it took another year before I realized she wasn't for me. That's how serious I am about getting together darling. I'm only in it for the long haul and that won't ever change."

"Fine. But I'll never stop trying."

With that Keitaro burst out laughing.


	18. The Noblewoman of Sin City, Part I

Chapter Fifteen: The Noblewoman of Sin City, Part I

Keitaro had a god awful time trying to keep Kiara off of him. When she said she wouldn't stop trying he thought she meant getting together, not doing _it_ together. She would try and jump his bones while he was sleeping, try to turn him on while he was bathing, and even give him a footjob while eating. No matter how many times the word _no_ was spoken vehemently, it just made her more determined. For Keitaro, Kiara just comes on too strong and he wasn't experienced enough to deal with all of the attention. The best thing he could come up with was to compromise. So far, it's been working in his favor. Doing the chores wasn't that much of a hassle, it was as easy as breathing.

Two years ago he might have been more willing to give into his lust. After all he was never pursued by any girl during his entire life, but his time in the Hinata Apartments changed the way he looked at the fairer sex. The cruelty they're capable of, was no different than a man's. Before he was also one of those people that thought women could never be as hostile as men. He found out otherwise. And because of that, Kiara may be the sweetest girl in all creation, but it still wouldn't work. For the same reason his relationship with Naru made his fears come alive - he loved a monster. Time is the only part of his life that he can count on and time would tell if Kiara really is the girl for him.

That line of thinking would always lead back to his unpleasant past, Naru. He couldn't help the comparisons he drew between his current obsession and his past flame. The single difference was that Kiara actually liked him. Yet Naru still ruled his heart. True love couldn't be forgotten so easily. Keitaro opened the doors to the inner sanctum that is his soul and Naru corrupted it with her lies and deceit. It was right after he left the Hinata Apartments did he come to the decision to never love again. He wanted to bury the weaknesses that the girls had preyed on and let his knew cold demeanor become his strength.

Still, the heartache would always come in the morning. At first it took forever just to get out of bed. If it wasn't for Kiara, he'd probably be in much worse shape. His routine to get ready seemed to make him a little bit stronger each time. It didn't happen overnight, but a month went by and he realized that he didn't moan over his ex-girlfriend. He'd stopped thinking about what if she changed. He was too busy and that's what gave him strength.

Unfortunately, that didn't work out to well when he first got to "Sin City". Both the Duchess and Kiara were thrust into his life, making him revert back to his old self. But the vicinity he was living in did harden his attitude. He wouldn't be coerced into anything by intimidation or seduction. Instead of listening to the people on the street, he'd ignore them. Or if he ever felt threatened, his fists did the talking for him. The cold and calculating man he aspires to be.

Presently, he was on an errand for the Duchess. It seemed routine now. All he would do was deliver messages, like a runner in war. It was strange that she'd use such an outdated method of communication, especially in this technological era. But he didn't want to be the one to point it out. The pay from his "day job" is pittance compared to the tips he gets from his delivering. The downside is that the job has gotten increasingly dangerous. He even had someone pull a gun on him on his latest delivery. Luckily, the Duchess's reputation was like a bullet proof vest. However she didn't like the fact he was still vulnerable and arranged for him to receive some essential training...

_ "Do you know what these are Galahad?" the Duchess asked._

_ "Guns?" Keitaro said skeptically. Both of them did look like handguns in the suitcase but the sheer size of them can be likened to that of shotguns._

_ "Not just any guns. These are modified versions of the 600 Nitro Express. Do you know how to use one?" The Duchess pulled out a revolver from the holster on her side, aimed, and shot though the bull's-eye of a target. She offered it to him. _

_ "No, I've never been in a situation where I thought it was necessary."_

_ "Does that mean you've never fought before? The cook you knocked out would disagree."_

_ "That would be the only prime example of my entire life, my lady." Excluding the time when Kiara's ex-boyfriend tried to rob him dead, there's only been one other time when Keitaro tried to fight back. That was in his childhood when he still practiced the Urashima style of fighting. At that time, it was Haruka herself who trained him. Even back then, she knew that he would be one hell of a disciple. His natural talent and his uncanny stamina were a perfect combination. Consequently his first bout eventually came and his opponent was around the same age. The child screamed out in agony within the minute. The whole crowd heard the mortifying snap of breaking bones. After that incident Keitaro didn't want to fight. Of course, that changed when he was on the receiving end._

_ "Then the more suitable question would be, have you ever fought back?"_

_ "The thought of hurting someone is revolting to me, that I cannot deny. But suffering in silence is something I will no longer do. I will be the punisher before being the punished."_

_ The Duchess set her revolver next to suitcase and took off her overcoat, revealing the voluptuous body underneath. The quipao's deep slits exposed the milky skin of thighs, her stockings gave the impression of wanting more. Feeling his arousal, Keitaro tried to think of black thoughts. "Such confidence, can you back it up?" _

_ The Duchess lunged with her palm, connecting to Keitaro's jaw, forcing him to reel back. He took a defensive stance. She came with front kick, he swung his right arm to block, stepped in, and pushed her back with both palms. She pressed her attack, coming with an outside roundhouse kick, he blocked with his left forearm. She spun around with the same leg to hook kick to his face, he bent backwards to avoid. It was a feint! She swung that leg to give her the contortion for a reverse butterfly kick, nailing him in the chin. She followed with a straight right to his rib cage and a push kick to knock him to the ground. She dug her heels into his sternum. This should've been a turn off. The view between her legs was still enough to stir his partner._

_ "Enjoying the view?" she asked. Keitaro turned his head._

"_I'm not sure if I should be happy or angry with that gesture. If I were your everyday thug you would still be breathing. Having made a critical mistake by boasting my dominance what are you going to do about it?"_

_ He knocked her foot off of him, causing her to spin and regain her balance. Keitaro flipped up to his feet. The Duchess sighed._

_ "It seems that I can't get your blood boiling. Is it because I'm a woman or because I am your opponent?"_

_ "Everyone has a breaking point. Mine just happens to be the farthest away from you, my lady."_

_ "John, turn on the screen." she ordered to her second._

_ "Right away Duchess." the suited man answered._

_ "Your breaking point may be closer than you think." The Duchess pointed to a wide TV screen across the room. The monitor flashed on... it was Kiara, but something wasn't right. She was rapidly walking back and forth inside of the tiny room._

_ "She's inside one of my solitary confines as of this moment. Pitiful isn't it? Kitty's scared of small spaces and is on the verge of a mental collapse."_

_ "Let her go!" he riled. Keitaro began to panic. Claustrophobia wasn't something you play with._

_ "In due time Galahad."_

_ "She's done nothing to deserve this!"_

_ The Duchess stomped her feet. "This is for your own good servant! Subdue me and she'll be released." _

_ Keitaro wanted to strangle her, but he still didn't want to hurt the Duchess. Fortunately for him his martial arts background was more suited towards capturing the enemy than beating them unconscious. Unlike his sister, Keitaro didn't need ropes, he was stronger and more well versed in pinning his opponent. Still the Duchess was hard to maneuver against. Her lithe body and tall stature made it difficult to lock in a submission. A drawn out battle would be in his favor, but with Kiara on the brink of a mental breakdown he needed to work fast._

_ The Duchess didn't give him time to think, she came with a right hook to his face. Immediately, he got under her and threw her to the ground. With no wasted movement, Keitaro put her in an armbar. She struggled, for a few seconds._

_ "I give." she grunted. She didn't expect him to catch him off balance so easily. _

_ Keitaro let go and helped the Duchess to her feet. He went down on one knee and kept his head down._

_ "Perhaps you aren't as weak as I thought." she said in a humorous tone. "Waiting for you to make your make moved proved interesting."_

_ "Will you let her go, my lady?" he requested._

_ "I don't need to. That was only a recording."_

_ "What? Why?" he screamed while standing back to his feet._

_ "Because it was for your own good. You felt the stress of being under pressure and acted accordingly. Remember that feeling, it will serve you well in the streets." _

_ "I don't know how to treat with you. You're hot and yet cold at the same time. You say things that contradict you're actions. Anymore mixed messages, because I can't take it." said Keitaro._

_ The Duchess laughed. "I had no doubt you'd see right through me."_

_ "Then why the pretense? Is this nothing more than for your amusement?" he said dryly._

_ "People don't understand that sometimes evil is necessary for the greater good."_

_ "What you are insinuating is a lot more than evil - the epitome of sin incarnate." _

_ The Duchess's face flushed with color. "Deceit."_

_ "Murder, which I know you are capable of."_

_ That tidbit dug into her skin. "So are you, as is all of humanity given the right conditions."_

_ "But we're given the birthright to choose." After all, he was the prime example of self control._

_ "So naïve, do you think we can reign in our emotions all the time?"_

_ "Difficult, but not impossible. We do it everyday, rejecting our baser instincts."_

_ "This coming from the man who is quick to strike." She waved the arm he stretched._

_ "To hurt, not kill." he said wryly. "Violence isn't my preference, but in this place it is the only thing that seems to matter."_

_ "A weak argument from a pacifist such as you."_

_ "I am what I am."_

_ "A hypocrite." she said with spite._

_ "One that never betrays himself or what he wishes to represent."_

_ "And what do you represent?"_

_ "A forgotten notion that renders me impervious, honor."_

_ The Duchess was immovable like a mountain. But at that moment, she trembled. Just like when she first met him, his vision was fixed and true. This was the reason her heart pounded against her chest. His moments of chivalry made her swoon. She couldn't resist the magnetism of his seductive charisma. But she wouldn't succumb to her woman's heart. Playing with fire fed her suppressed feelings. This was about his faithfulness, not her feelings._

_ "Would you stake your honor for my expense, Galahad?" she barely uttered._

_ "I am your loyal servant, but I am also a man. I cannot in good faith, obey every single one of your commands."_

_ "Then what use are you to me?" She knew she was hitting below the belt, dammit. But she didn't want him questioning her absolutism, her power._

_ "I don't know, maybe I'm not. Would it be enough when I hand you my pride on a silver platter and become icelike as you? Or perhaps when I have killed enough to have my heart broken a thousand times over? Everything I do is up to you my lady, but what I am, after everything is said and done, may be the very filth you find clinging to your heels." Keitaro reminded her._

_ "You won't survive with such devout morality and high expectations. You only have to listen to what I say and you will continue to exist." she chided._

_ "Death may not like being dared, but I have already escaped his ghastly grip countless times." he smirked_

_ "But you cannot escape from me." she said with a sinister tone of voice._

_ "There are fates much worse than death. You may control my mind, but never my soul. My true nature will never betray me and if you try, this life," he puts his hand over his heart "will never be yours." he warned her._

_ The Duchess knew he was being serious. She pushed him as far as he could stand. If she wasn't careful, his heart would be closed to her. Reminding him of his oath could be her only salvation._

_ "Why did you choose me Keitaro?' she asked._

_ "You ask me this now, after all this time?" he replied_

_ "Would you have preferred if I asked in our first meeting?"_

_ "My feelings have changed a lot since then. I was in a much darker state of mind then. At that time I felt that you would be the end of my suffering. Either I would die by your hands or the world you lived in."_

_ "That's... a self-destructive course I'd never imagined you would take." she said taken back by his confession._

_ "Imagining a way to end all of my pain was something I did regularly. Death is feared by all, but at our weakest we realize that it can take away our torment and misery." _

_ "Then are you only here out of fear?"_

_ "I am here because for Kiara's sake." He purposely didn't add that it was only temporary._

_ "Is that all? Have you no loyalty to me?"she said miserably._

_ "I've already said that I am your loyal servant." he answered swiftly._

_ "I am a true noblewoman and I know loyalty. Yours is only in name only."_

_ "And I'm the King of England."_

_ "You mock your mistress?"she said in distain._

_ "You've already made it clear that I'm no use to you. I have no reason to be courteous to you."_

_ "Silence servant, you have no idea of what it means to be in my position!"_

_ "And when did you lose yourself to fill that position?"_

_ "I don't answer to you, lowlife."_

_ "That may be, but all of us will have to answer for our actions and motives."_

_ "God is dead. Look around you, do you see paradise?"_

_ "I doubt the Creator cares on what side his creations take, but at the end of your life would _you_ like the person you left as?"_

_ "Do you judge me?"_

_ "I'm working out the verdict, though it isn't my place to. But if I knew more about you, then maybe..." he purposefully trailed off. _

_"You'd like to hear my fall from grace." she said exasperated. "I'd be ashamed... so do not speak, only listen. The story of Kateriina Ilves, the third daughter of the Estonian Empire and her tragedy."_

_

* * *

_Yep, I definitely know that the time between this chapter and my last was very long. It wasn't something that I intended to do, but a lot of people have been critical of my work recently. So I took it to heart and tried to perfect this chapter, especially the length. Which would've been much longer (around 5000 words) if I hadn't received sound advice from my mentor.

It's my story... and I can do what I want with it. I realize that I won't be able to satisfy each and every one of you readers, but that doesn't mean I don't try. However, I won't be hampered down to the point where I don't even recognize my own writing. As for the continuation, don't expect the length to be similar to this chapter (2700). I had worked on this for about 6 weeks and I obviously haven't completed it. So those who continue to read and review, thank you. For those who stop, I wish you all the best. For I will keep writing until the completion of this fanfic.

~Yuelyn the Vampire


	19. The Noblewoman of Sin City, Part II

Chapter Sixteen: The Noblewoman of Sin City, Part II

"Goddammit, how do I keep getting stuck in these kinds of situations?" Keitaro thought to himself. He gripped the modified handgun the Duchess gave him very tightly. Firmly secured from the incoming bullets, he slightly peeked out from behind the bulletproof car... only to be flashed from the contact of metal on metal.

"I'm guessing you don't have flashbangs, my lady." he shouted to the Duchess.

"Do I look like an American soldier to you?" she replied in the same volume. "Get up there and lay down suppression fire!"

"It's a handgun! Give me a sub-machine gun and then we'll talk."

The Duchess quickly stood up, barely above the hood of the car and shot in the direction of the assailants. It was like the crack of thunder it stopped all gunshots - for an instant. She then took cover.

"Holy shit!" said Keitaro.

"I told you that it's the most powerful handgun in the world! There are four cars on the other side, most of the gunmen have standard assault rifles - AK47's."

"Great and all we have are freaking secondary weapons! This isn't exactly the M14 or FN FAL you know!"

"Good to know you're a gun aficionado. Now shoot you stupid man!"

Jesus H. Christ... just a few minutes ago I was about to hear the Duchess's story only to get interrupted...

_ "Duchess!" one of her subordinated rushed in._

_ "This better be good or I'll have your manhood on mounted on my wall."_

_ "We're surrounded by the Russian mob."_

_ "Do they dare attack the Valkyrie Host? They must be mad... unless they think they have some kind of advantage. Dammit," she looked at Keitaro "I've been too busy concentrating on you that I forgot about recent developments."_

_ "This doesn't sound good."_

_ "My team isn't here with me right now. We'll have to try and escape through the back door."_

_ "Wait, what the hell is going on?"_

_ "Isn't obvious, it's a gang war and right now we're outgunned and outmanned."_

_ "Then why are we going out to meet them? Shouldn't we be fortifying the defenses inside?"_

_ "This isn't 300 Galahad, narrow spaces will only get us pushed together for the slaughter. We need to manage them until backup arrives. Now's the time for you to live up to your name, my knight. I'll be counting on you to keep me safe."_

"So she said." Keitaro used the side mirror of the armored car to get a better look at the shooters. The only thing he could make out was their heads. "Headshots... goddammit." Keitaro took aim on the hood of the car. He shot. One went through an open car door, piercing through number one's chest. The second screeched off the top of the car and nailing number two in the head. Number three was so far off because of the severe recoil, it hit the engine and blew up. Killing the third man instantly. "Shit, these things hurt like a bitch!"

"Not bad, Galahad. There are just three more vehicles to go."

"I wasn't aiming for the car, but if that'll end it-"

"RPG!" a man shouted. A loud explosion flew me upwards, before I realized it I was already on the ground in a lot of pain. I saw the Duchess laid out not far from me. I didn't think. I scooped her in my arms and ran back into the underground parking lot. The rest of her gang followed me in.

"How the hell do they have rocket propelled grenades?" I shouted.

"They're arms dealers..." the Duchess barely voiced the words. "I should've expected this..."

"Any chance your team can get here in the next few minutes?"

"I don't know, this isn't even the full force of the Russian mob... they must be dealing with my men on several fronts..."

"We need to get to a higher level that way we'll have an advantage and then we'll have a clear idea of what we're dealing with."

"No, we need to get to the armory first..."

"Are you telling me that we had better guns in the first place and you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't want to solve this with violence..."

"How do those words taste in your mouth?" Keitaro chuckled. "Alright, we're retreating to the armory." he ordered. Keitaro didn't wait to be acknowledged by the Duchess's gang, he just carried her and followed as she instructed him where to go. When they arrived in the underground armory, Keitaro set her down gently against the wall.

"Are you still conscious, my lady?"

"I'll be alright, my body hasn't been exposed to that kind of recoil in a long while, but I'll be up before long."

"Of course." he replied dryly. Keitaro checked the guns on the rack. Most of them were assault rifles and very few of them were submachine guns. There were even some grenades and C4 lying around as well. He grabbed the most familiar to him - the ACR and for his secondary weapon - the G18.

"Why on earth are you grabbing the G18, you already have the NX600."

"No offense, my lady, but I'd rather not go out with flashy guns blazing. The weapons I chose are simple, pump the enemy full of lead. If by some chance they get close, I'll just switch to the G18."

"They have RPG's you fool, in case you forgot."

"Using it in an enclosed space like this is suicide, but I see your point. Though even if I did have the outrageous guns, how would I combat such explosive force?"

"Neutralize it before it hits you. RPG's are impact explosives."

"Are you serious?"

"Do I look like I'm in the mood to joke?"

"I don't know. I think you might have hit your head a little too hard my lady."

"This is no time-" Keitaro cupped the Duchess's cheeks, caressing her in a gentle way.

"Don't worry my lady, I'll protect you." He kissed her on the temple. Before he could leave the Duchess grabbed hold of his hand.

"You've taken some liberties that I haven't allowed." she said in a flustered tone. "Must I remind you of the positions different positions we are in? We haven't even started are previous conversation."

"I don't think this is the appropriate time-"

"Don't tell me what's appropriate, servant." While her words were harsh, he understood her underlying tone. If this was to be there demise, she wanted him to know her before the end. He sat down next to her and she let go of her grip. Keitaro set his primary and secondary weapon aside.

"You do realize that the safety is still on those weapons?"

"Mother of God. Now I feel even worse. I might've died like an idiot." This time the Duchess laughed a little.

"You never cease to amaze me, Sir Galahad. At times you seem to have a protective instinct that makes you seem dangerous, but it is precious times like these that I like about you the most."

"Well I never!" he mocked.

"It still shows that you're still human." A slight pause stilled the air. Keitaro held the Duchess's hand.

"You're human too, my lady. This hand, this warmth, this person in front of me isn't an illusion or a doll."

"Such pretty words won't get you anywhere, my knight. I wonder, no I hope that you can still have that belief after you've heard my story."

* * *

_ I was born into the pinnacle of society, as a princess of the Estonian Empire. I was blessed with power and privilege above the common man. As a princess, you would think that I would have led a charmed life... Unfortunately for me, I wasn't the first born of my family._

_ Eliisabet Elena Ilves, the crown princess and next in line for the throne had that pleasure. As the third princess, I was always put off by the king and queen. Providence allowed me my second sister Ivi Irena Ilves, to be bestowed upon me though. Only a few years existed between us, but she treated me with benevolence beyond her years._

_ I always believed that she wanted something to love. All the resentment she had for our family was immense, but that just fostered her capacity to care. She carried the burden of wintry indifference that was much heavier before I was born... When I came into existence that burden was split between us._

_ But my dear Ivi was also a child. How could she bequeath the unshakable love that is supposed to be endowed to a mother? Our head maid, overseer of the mansion pasted down to each generations ruler, Sarah, cherished us. Her entire life had been devoted to the king and queen... that's why she loved us like her very own children. Not because of loyalty to the crown, but because she wanted to fill the hole that sincere devotion couldn't gratify._

_ We were our own happy family, just the three of us. But that joy was always coveted by my other family. Naturally, Sarah's affection was never offered to Eliisabet because of the king and queen. But those who have everything, want more. She demanded that my parents assign Sarah as her own personal maid. Although it may appear inconceivable, Eliisabet was jealous. All of the spoiling my parents treated her with just made her unhappy... and a bitch. Ivi and I were furious when we found out, but even my parents we're reasonable on the matter. Having Sarah as her ladies maid would've been a demotion of her status... but all things considered, that may have been for the best..._

_ I never realized the extent of Eliisabet's title before then... I was ten at the time and Ivi was fifteen. The crown princess had just turned eighteen. For the king and queen, they portrayed her coming of age as a momentous occasion. She officially entered the political arena..._

_ Sarah was there one day and the next day, she was gone. All her belongings, even the décor of her room, vanished into thin air. Nothing of her remained, as if she never existed... I asked Eliisabet why. "Because I couldn't have her," she answered. I begged her to tell me where she was. I remembered saying that I wouldn't mind disappearing with Sarah, but of course a missing princess would be a lot more noticeable than a maid._

_ I couldn't cope well with the incredible sense of loss. So every day I would imagine crawling into a black hole. Nothing could faze me in the deep void of solitude. I wouldn't subsist to my own well being... Only Ivi cared, but she didn't know what to do... to soothe me, to scold me, or to do the same thing... creeping to a clear shot to hell._

_ When I was found out, I was force fed from that point on. A guard was even assigned to me... reminding me that my life wasn't my own... neither was the space around me. I don't remember much during those three years of hollow existence, but then Ivi's eighteenth birthday came... She was forced into a political marriage with one of the more prestigious nobleman of my country. The shock of contemplating the loss of my last safe haven, shattered my self-loathing reverie and forced me to face reality._

_ Sarah may have been gone, but Ivi was still here. Even though I was barely in the troughs of adolescence, I knew that being alone in this mansion was akin to a death sentence. I would have to make myself useful to the very people I abhorred... especially to Eliisabet. She was the only one who could stave off Ivi's marriage by marrying herself. I realized later how idiotic my way of thinking may have been, but at the time I thought it was valiant to concoct a plan that people would have no choice other than to follow._

_ I worked with a fervor never before seen, excelling at the desk and on the field. When my subjects asked about my new drive for merit, I explained that it was simply in my blood. I could never tell them that it was to replace Eliisabet as the crown princess. I have to admit that my status helped me build my reputation for greatness as it allowed me access to the greatest tutors in the world. Ivi's poor relationship with her fiancée was no secret, but their majesties kept pressing her to set a date. I hoped that she could stall for five more years, so that I can reach my coming of age..._

_ Three slow years had passed and I was a young debutante worshiped with praise. The spotlight had long since shifted from the crown princess to the third in line to the throne. Whispers and gossip filled the silence of the court. Most believed that I would be better suited for the next generation of Estonian rule. Those braver dared to whisper that I should take the throne by force. However, by this time I had slithered into Eliis's favor._

_ Before, I had always abstained from playing her game. You would always have to take her side or you were deemed as an enemy. So, I continually told her what she wanted to hear - assurance. A mouthful of the sweet spoiling my parents constantly gave to her... never realizing the damaging substance that was rotting beneath the surface._

_ At the same time, my dear Ivi had reached her limit. She attempted to kill herself by overdosing... this was the opening I needed. I used Ivi's instable condition to prompt a marriage proposal for Eliis. Of course, the plump spinster of twenty-four could never land a man without the prestige of her royal bloodline, she vehemently refused. I played my trump card. It may have been premature, but we had to consider the birth of the next generation's royalty. Many of the nobility agreed. There majesties were firmly in Eliis's favor, but not even they could deny the majority. They tried to pin that burden on me, but I was underage and the country demanded a royal wedding._

_ My plan was coming to fruition and I needed but one more step to gain the position of crown princess. Eliis had firmly been driven to a corner. She may have been older than me, but she knew so little of the real world. While she continued to enjoy the coddling of the king and queen, I devoured every piece of information that came my way. So, I offered her a way out. If she relinquished her title as the next heir to me, then I would take her place for the marriage._

_ The next day Eliis publicly renounced her station as the next heir and bequeathed it to me. Of course the palace was in an uproar, but nobody could do anything about it. In that same moment, I voided Ivi's marriage prospect because it was no longer necessary. The whole basis of the engagement was to secure the generation after me. Everything had gone according to plan, but my greatest triumph would be short lived..._

_ I only became crown princess in order to recreate the family that I lost. It was naïve of me to think that my new found power would not come without a cost... My middle name, Diana, was meant to exemplify two prominent deities. The first derives from the Roman goddess of the hunt, moon, and chastity. The other is Diana, Queen of Hearts. The most photographed woman in the wake of the new millennium... and the epitome of the perfect woman. _

_ Of course, men would never let women become that strong naturally, but I had too. In order to survive on this new plain of existence, I mirrored there majesties to every minute detail. I made my day face... my dead face, that reflected all that was frozen and numb each and every day. Being sent to countries all over the world as a representative of Estonia was stressful, but I actually enjoyed the work._

_ My operations eventually lead me to Finland... where I met my future husband, Tuomas Harjonne. Thinking about it logically, Tuomas could never be considered my equal in terms of status. Whereas Estonia was ruled by the royal family like in England, Finland was a democratic government much like the United States. However, getting married to someone from another country voided any necessity of rank. Though the many suitors back home were much the same, I would still hold all the power of monarch. Even if I were to get married, my spouse would never become king._

_ Nevertheless, Tuomas was of an ambitious sort. I could say that was the reason I was attracted to him, initially. He was handsome, but not very charming. A power hungry man to the core... I chose to ignore that aspect of him. I continued to see him on occasion over the next year. He tried to convince me to come and live with him in his country. Such an audacious man! Me, the crown princess? Living in a foreign land? I gave him the same ultimatum, to come to Estonia or rot. Eventually he yielded, saying that he could not possibly find a woman as intelligent and forthcoming as me. Which basically meant he would be unable to find another woman that was independent as me. He came with me to Estonia and not long after, we were wed._

_ But then a problem had arisen. I was unable to become pregnant by Tuomas... both of us were devastated, but for different reasons. Tuomas had always wanted to have a child of his own. I needed a brood to cement my station as the next sovereign. Blood was the most important essential to the throne. Thus adoption was out of the question and Tuomas would never accept a child that wasn't his own... but I needed to secure the next heir to the throne. That decision was easily taken out of my hands in the vilest of forms._

_ I laid sleepless and cold on my empty bed, dreaming a dream that will forever be unfulfilled. For on that moonless night, dark assailants barged into my room. I struggled, bit, and clawed fruitlessly. One assailant clamped my arms behind my back while the other ripped the clothes off my body. No caress, no intimacy, no love. An act to putrid the word has no meaning during the act. An intrusion of which there is no justice severe enough to punish. The first man thrust his vile appendage into my womanhood. Making me cry out in unmitigated agony. The physical pain was excruciating, but the mental torture was a thousand times worse. The other attacker rammed into my ass. The constant thrusting drove me to the edge of madness. How I wished the pain shut off of my mind... but I felt inch after fetid inch of primal desire. And the long night drew on... an endless nightmare of haunting memories that I will never escape._

_ The backlash of my subjection was catastrophic... my pain, my suffering, fell on deaf ears. Me, the crown princess, reduced to the same distinction as a commoner... my humiliation became the fuel for the courters to ridicule me. Perhaps I could've ignored all that, but Tuomas was no longer at my side. He was the first to abandon me, calling me a whore... Saying that it was my fault he couldn't have a child. He wasn't the only one though. It seemed as if the problems for the entire country were laid at my feet. In a flash, all of the people who supported me had changed their tune..._

_ Then my life changed in an instant. I don't exactly remember when it happened, but I began to have sparse moments of lucidity. I would always wake up in different places and with seemingly similar people. I couldn't tell what was reality and what was fake. By chance, I was rescued by John, my now right-hand man was a titled knight in the Estonian Empire, who knew of my disappearance along with other nationalists. He told me that I have constantly been drugged and moved from place to place for a little bit longer than a year... That knowledge alone brought me to the edge of my sanity, but it was the remembrance of my rape that fluctuated my mind between madness and death... to me, my pain was as if it was yesterday._

_ Months passed before I regained my ability to cope with the stress of my trauma... The first thing I was told when I recovered were the events that had transpired between the massive gap in my memory. To the rest of the world, I was dead. A stage had been set where I was found in my room, lifeless by drug overdose... suicide. No one doubted the validity of my passing. It wouldn't take a genius to connect my rape as the cause of death. In that moment, I realized that I had truly lost everything. My home, my family, my reason for living..._

_ Whoever staged my death and taken such measures to keep me an invalid for the rest of my life would have to have been immensely powerful and I wouldn't risk the lives of the people who sacrificed so much to save mine. Many of my comrades still dream of the day when I would reclaim my station and to continue to better our country, but I have no wish to do so. After years on the run, we came to this land and here we created a home for ourselves._

* * *

"No offense my lady, but there are gaps within your story." Keitaro pointed out.

"You missed the point entirely, you sod." the Duchess replied. At that moment, her phone rang. "John."

**"Duchess! Thank God you're alive!"**

"What's the situation?"

**"It's a battle royal out here. All the major gangs are in the streets. We can't get near you right now."**

"Not the report I wanted to hear... I guess we'll have to try and make due."

**"But something isn't right, Duchess. There is an unknown organized group here as well. These attack patterns, there exactly like the tactics of the Estonian military."**

"So they've come."

**"I can't say for sure, but it would be best-"**

"John, John! Dammit all!"

"My lady?" asked Keitaro.

"How ironic that my past has caught to me now of all times... Get ready Galahad, the real battle begins now."

* * *

And after nearly half a year, another chapter has been submitted. In a sense, the Duchess's whole story encompasses 6 months worth of chapters. I apologize in advance if this chapter doesn't have continuity. I probably will go back and edit it, but instead of waiting another week or so I just wanted to get this out into the universe.


	20. NOTICE

Dear readers,

It's been a long journey for both you and me watching the development of this fanfic. I'm sad to say that this story must come to an end. I will in all likelihood conclude the plotline at this juncture. Obviously, this story has

not yet ended, but my wealth of inspiration has all been spent on this project alone. When I started this fanfiction, I had an idea of where it would lead me... and to be perfectly honest I've liked where it has ended up. That

being said, I still wish to do a complete revision and I may add more content. The gaps between the chapters definitely leave something to be desired...

Nevertheless in my mind, this would be the ideal place to stop. Before you start sending me requests to just somehow finish this piece, I'm already thinking of a continuation. However, in the beginning I contemplated having

multiple endings and that's probably where this project will truly end.

I will probably start the sequels under a new title. Some of the continuations may be as long as the original and some may just be a few chapters. I'm still not sure which ending I will do first and to be perfectly honest, I'm

not sure if I'll do it right away either... I can't guarantee anything at this point, but I will say that I have thought about three possible continuations.

As for the Duchess and Kiara... I'm drawing a complete blank at this point. They may appear in the future sequels, but it's hard to say right now. I hope to see you all soon.

Sincerely,

Yuelyn the Vampire


End file.
